Human
by nukagirl
Summary: "Shit, I'm going to become a werewolf now, aren't I?" Stiles asked, shaking. He looked at the t-shirt which was already soaked through, "or die!" "No," Derek said, his voice almost quivering, "No, you're not going to die." He came closer, reaching out. "Get away from me!" Stiles screamed, backing up so his back hit the wall. Sterek.
1. Chapter 1

Stiles looked up from his laptop as he heard his window open. Derek was climbing through the window like the Edward Cullen wannable he was.

"You know my Dad isn't in, you could have used the door," Stiles sighed, spinning round in his chair to face the Alpha.

"It's more fun this way," Derek grinned and Stiles smiled because he knew he had been the one to cause that amusement on Derek's face. Not many people could cause that face.

Derek came over to Stiles and leant down, placing both his hands on the chair to trap him there. A couple of months ago Stiles could have been terrified. Now his smile just grew wider. Derek leant down further and kissed him, soft at first but it soon grew deeper until Stiles was panting and flushed.

"You know," Stiles said once Derek had broken off, "You're going to have to start taking me on dates soon or these are going to start feeling like booty calls."

"Booty calls without the sex?" Derek asked, one of his eyebrows perfectly raised. Stiles blushed and coughed, looking away.

"This...this could involve...sex," Stiles winced, still looking away. His cheeks were burning and he was really nervous. He had been trying to build up to this for weeks but he had wussed out every time, "I mean, if you want to," he continued, rushing his words, "You probably don't want to though because you're all hard muscles and sexy stubble and I'm quite inexperienced, actually completely no experience at all so I'll be really rubbish and-"

"Stiles," Derek interrupted and Stiles did stop talking. He could feel that his cheeks were red raw.

"I wasn't proposing that we should have sex, I was just...making a joke," Derek said, and coughed as if he was embarrassed. Stiles looked at him and nearly laughed.

"You're not very funny," he told the werewolf and then bit the inside of his cheek, "I was being serious though."

Derek looked shocked as he leant backwards slightly. Stiles felt his heart drop as he realised that Derek probably didn't want to have sex with him. He was only 17 and Derek was 23. Why would Derek Hale have sex with a teenager?

"Really?" Derek asked and he looked nervous.

"We don't have to," Stiles said quietly, "If you don't want to." Derek caught him off guard by kissing him. It was soft and sweet and Derek's eyes were slightly amused when they broke apart.

"Of course I do" Derek told him, "I just wanted to wait until you were ready."

Stiles laughed again, shaking his head. He stood up, wrapping his arms around Derek's neck. Derek's hands found his hip and he rubbed the skin there with his thumb.

"Does anyone else know how sweet you can be?" Stiles asked as Derek pushed their foreheads together. Derek kissed the side of his mouth, a grin on his own.

"No, just you and don't tell anyone, otherwise I'll-"

"Yes, I know, you'll rip my throat out with you'll teeth," Stiles laughed before leaning forward to kiss Derek more forcefully. Derek growled, pulling him close and turning him around as they kissed. He walked them backwards until Stiles' knees hit the bed and they fell backwards. Stiles hit the bed with a soft 'ompf' but it was swallowed up by Derek's lips.

"Are you sure about this?" Derek asked as he moved from Stiles' lips to his neck. Stiles moaned, bucking his hips up to show his wiliness.

"Yes, yes!" He nearly begged. He had been waiting too long for this. He felt Derek grin against his throat and a low growl escaped the Alpha's lips as another moan sounded from Stiles'. Derek felt hard against him and unbelievable hot. Not uncomfortable hot though; instead it sent heat straight to his groin. Derek nosed his shirt aside as he continued to kiss Stiles' skin.

"You wear too many layers," Derek grumbled as he tried to kiss along Stiles' collarbone.

"Take them off then," Stiles told him. Derek looked up, a gleam in his eye. It made Stiles so happy to know that he could cause that gleam and the smile on the wolf's face. A smile Stiles knew was only for him.

Nervously, Stiles ran his hands under Derek's shirt, feeling hard muscle and smooth skin, and pulled the grey shirt off him.

"Relax," Derek mumbled quietly, kissing the corner of Stiles' mouth, kissing a trail slowly across his cheek and to the side of his neck and under his ear. Stiles let out a soft sigh. He knew Derek could smell how nervous he felt and was trying to calm him down. It was working. The slow movements and the feeling of Derek's breath against his skin made his muscle relax and he closed his eyes as Derek slowly peeled his two shirts off. However, Stiles felt nervous again and self-conscious. Derek was above him looking like a God and Stiles was laying there, all soft skin and no abs.

"Stop it," Derek told him, looking up again.

"What?" Stiles said innocently.

"You look so sexy like this," Derek mumbled against Stiles' lips, "Just laid out like this."

Stiles felt himself blush and he pulled Derek down on him to hide it. The kiss deepened and Stiles very soon forgot about how self-conscious he felt because Derek must have a magic tongue or something. No one was that good at kissing. Stiles moaned as he felt Derek's hard length against his own. He bucked his hips again and Derek groaned, his hands tighten on Stiles' hips. Stiles ran his hands down Derek's back, needing more skin, more heat, needing more.

So he ran his fingers through Derek's waistband until he got to the button and he undid it and the zip slowly. Derek let out a small grasp as Stiles' fingers brushed his arousal. Derek leant up to looked down at Stiles, who bit his lip as he stared back into the hazel eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Derek asked, sounding nervous himself. Stiles huffed out a laugh and nodded and leant up to kiss him.

"Yes," he said, "Just...just be..." he blushed again, feeling like a girl. He wanted to feel Derek inside him but he knew that it was going to hurt.

"Don't worry," Derek smiled, running his hand down Stiles' stomach and to his jeans. Stiles smiled and he wasn't worried.

Their trousers were soon on the floor and they were rocking up against each other, breathing heavily, gasping and moaning.

"Derek," Stiles whimpered and Derek growled again, kissing down his neck and along his chest. He ran his hand over Stiles' body until he got to his penis, where he agonisingly slowly ran his hand over the swollen length and down over his balls. Stiles nearly yelled out when he felt a fingers run over his entrance. His hips bucked and his back arched over the bed.

"Wait," he panted and then sprawled his hand over to reach his bedside table. He knocked the lamp over as he struggled to open his drawer. He managed to get it open though and pulled out a condom and a tube of lube. He gave them to Derek, who smiled and opened the lube. He poured a healthy amount onto his fingers and Stiles watched as he lowered them to between their legs. He licked his lips as Derek rubbed his entrance.

"Just tell me when to stop," Derek told him. Stiles nodded and then raised his hips so Derek's finger was pushed in slightly. He moaned and Derek took the hint and pushed his finger all the way in. it felt weird but oh-so-good weird. Stiles moaned, pushing his hips up to get more of this feeling. It was too good.

"Derek," he breathed, not realising he was saying the man's name again and again. He clawed his nails up the firm back as he kissed Derek's collarbone, biting down slightly. He felt Derek moan as he added another finger. Stiles responded by wrapping his legs around Derek's waist and leant himself up to get as close to Derek as possible. He just wanted to be closer; for all their skin to be touching.

"Derek," Stiles moaned because he knew he was close but he didn't want it to end yet, "Derek," he nearly begged.

The wolf understood and he withdrew his fingers. Stiles whimpered until he saw Derek pouring more lube onto himself. The teenager watched as Derek stroked his penis in long lengths to cover it. They locked eyes briefly before Stiles pulled him down to him and they kissed fast and heavy.

"Come on," Stiles urged, needing to feel Derek inside of him.

Derek lined himself up before pushing in slowly. Stiles hissed in pain and Derek stopped, looking down at him with eyes full of concern.

"Its ok," Stiles reassured him, already getting use to the pain, "Keep going."

Derek hesitated though, instead leaning down to kiss Stiles gently. It was a slow kiss and Stiles relaxed into it. Very, very slowly Derek pushed the rest of the way inside. The kiss got heavier as need and desire filled both of them and they were gasping for air, both of them clutching the other.

"Derek, move!" Stiles begged and Derek did; slow at first but soon picking up the pace. He moved his lips to Stiles' neck again and started to kiss it, sucking the skin. He growled as Stiles practically shouted when Derek hit the wall of muscles. Electricity flew through him and he arched his body high off the bed, his neck fully exposed. Derek felt like he was shaking as he growled and his pace picked up.

Stiles winced slightly as the pace quickened but Derek didn't seem to realise.

"Derek," Stiles panted, wincing again as the pace got too fast, "Slow down."

But Derek didn't seem to hear him and he growled again, sounding more animal than human as he scrapped his teeth over Stiles' skin. Intense pain then filled Stiles as he felt sharp teeth dig into his neck.

"Derek!" Stiles yelled, gasping from the pain. Derek growled again as Stiles tried to push him away. He glared at Stiles, his eyes red and with blood around his mouth, before latching back onto Stiles' neck.

Fear escaped Stiles, instead replaced by anger and realisation.

"No!" He yelled, shoving Derek away, "Get off me!"

Derek growled again as he was shoved away but then his eyes grew wide as he looked at Stiles, who had crawled away from his as much as he could and was against the bed frame, one hand on his gashing neck. Derek's eyes faded back to hazel as he looked at Stiles.

"Shit," he said, backing off the bed and to the other side of the room.

"You bit me!" Stiles yelled, getting off the bed and picking up the first bit of clothing he could find, which happened to be Derek's t-shirt. He held it against the gash on the neck, his hands wet with the red blood.

"You bit me!" He yelled again, looking at Derek, who had gone ashen white and looked more shocked than anything else. He still had blood around his mouth.

"I didn't mean to!" He said, begging Stiles' to believe him.

"Shit, I'm going to become a werewolf now, aren't I?" Stiles asked, shaking. He looked at the t-shirt which was already soaked through, "or die!"

"No," Derek said, his voice almost quivering, "No, you're not going to die."

He came closer, reaching out.

"Get away from me!" Stiles screamed, backing up so his back hit the wall. Derek's eyes filled with grief and he withdrew his hand.

"I'm going to become a werewolf, aren't I?" Stiles demanded to know, even though he already knew the answer. Derek nodded and the anger Stiles felt doubled, tripled maybe.

"Get out!" He yelled. Derek shook his head, coming a step closer again.

"I've got to stay here with you," he told Stiles.

"No," Stiles glared, bending down to pick up Derek's trousers and jacket. He chucked them at the man.

"No, you've got to fuck off and leave me alone," Stiles spat.

Derek looked at him for a moment before his face went blank and he nodded. He quickly pulled on his clothes and climbed through the window. Stiles rushed over to the window once he had disappeared and then slammed it shit and locked it. He didn't even look to see if Derek had gone before he shut the curtains. He was shaking and he tried to process what had just happened. His neck was pulsing with pain and blood was dripping down his chest. There was blood on his hands and all over the bed.

"Oh my GOD!" Stiles said, caught between yelling and crying. He tried to take a deep breath but it didn't calm him. He pulled a pair on sweat pants and went to the bathroom. He felt sick as he looked in the mirror. He looked white as the bright red blood stained his skin. The bite mark on his neck looked quite deep and it was oozing blood quickly. He got a towel and pressed it against his skin, throwing the shirt away. He pressed the towel tightly against the wound and flinched. He took a shaky breath, his eyes going moist.

"Fuck," he mumbled, sitting down on the toilet lid and bowing his head. He was scared. He knew what was going to happen. He was going to become a werewolf. A glowy eyed, sharp teethed, time of the month werewolf. Or he was going to die.

Either way, he will know by the morning.

He tried not to panic and was surprised to find that he didn't. He felt too tired. The bleeding stopped after about ten minutes and he cleaned himself up. He bandaged up his neck to hide the bite. Sighing, Stiles moved back to the bed room and stripped his bed. He carried them downstairs and stuffed them into the washing machine. He needed to get rid of all the evidence so it didn't look like a murder had taken place in his bed.

By the time he had replaced his bedding, Stiles felt like he was going to collapse. His mind didn't give him time to think about what had happened as soon as he was in bed he was asleep.

* * *

The alarm clock woke Stiles up the next morning.

"What?! What!?" Stiles yelped, sitting up straight. It was ten times louder than usual and it sounded like it was inside his brain, making the most annoying sound ever. He grabbed his phone off the bedside table and switched it off. He moaned, slumping back down on the bed.

It was then he was hit by a wave of sounds and smells. Cars going past outside, the smell of bacon that someone in the neighbourhood was cooking, a baby crying, the smell of coffee from yesterday, the couple next door arguing. It was overwhelming. There was so much going on and the worst thing was that he could smell Derek and what they had done last night. It snuck of sex and blood and Derek.

Stiles clutched his jaw tightly and slammed the pillow over his head to try and blocked out the sounds, but it didn't work.

He heard his Dad return home from work a few minutes later and flinched as he slammed the front door shut. It was like someone had hit cymbals right next to his ear.

"Stiles!" His Dad yelled up the stairs. Stiles didn't reply as his Dad came up the stairs and banged on his door.

"What?" Stiles groaned, not moving. His head hurt too much. Too much was going on. He heard the door open and he could smell his Dad coming into the room. For a moment all the other sounds and smells went away. For a moment all he could smell was black coffee, and the metal of his Dad's gun and the burger he must have had last night. Stiles' heart missed a beat though as he smelt something else. Something he hadn't smelt in years. It was his Mum's perfume. The bottle Stiles knew his Dad kept on his bedside table. The smell lingered on his Dad's skin, only slightly but it was there. Stiles felt a lump in his throat as he rolled over to look at his Dad, who looked tired and slightly annoyed.

"Stiles, you're going to be late for school."

"I have a headache," Stiles mumbled, his eyes on his Dad's chest where he could hear his heartbeat. Stiles frowned. There was something wrong with it. It wasn't beating in a continuous rhythm but every now and again it would make a whooshing sound, too quick for a normal heart beat.

"You're not getting off school if you have a hangover," his Dad told him seriously. Stiles rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I wasn't drinking last night," Stiles told him. His Dad frowned at his son's quiet and withdrawn tone. He sat on the bed and felt Stile's forehead. Stiles closed his eyes at the touch, trying to focus on the smell so he couldn't sense anything else.

"You are quite warm," his Dad told him, "I think you're telling the truth."

Stiles didn't say anything and he could smell the concern on his Dad.

"I'll call the school," his Dad said, standing back up, "And what did you do to your neck?"

Stiles felt the rough fabric of the bandage around his neck and sighed.

"I fell over in lacrosse practice and someone ran over my neck," he lied, too easily for his liking. His Dad nodded, seeming happy with the explanation.

"Do you want me to get you anything?"

Stiles shook his head and his Dad petted his leg.

"Get some rest then."

He then left the room, shutting the door quietly. Stiles sighed, feeling guilty for lying to his Dad again. He didn't want to go to school though. There were more sounds there and he didn't think he could cope with it. Stiles listened to his Dad call the school to explain his absence and then go to bed. Stiles could hear his breathes even from the next room. The heart thing worried him though. He would have to talk to his Dad about it somehow.

Once his Dad was asleep, Stiles rolled out of bed and grabbed the bottle of Adderall that was always on the bedside table. He dry swallowed two before getting up and going to the bathroom. He thought a shower would clear his head. He stripped off and froze as he caught his reflection in the mirror.

He had muscles! Like real life muscles and everything! Oh my God! It looked like he had done 100 sit ups every night for years and was actually on the front line for lacrosse. He smiled as he examined his abs and his now hard stomach. He was nowhere near as ripped as Derek, but he did exercise none stop like a crazy person. Stiles wasn't far off Scott though and it made him feel so good that his best friend did get muscles over night and was a result from his werewolf bite, and not because he had been working out. It made him feel less useless.

Stiles stood naked in front of his mirror and studied himself. He no longer had the bite and he still looked the same, part from the increased muscle. Just the same old Stiles.

He got up close to the mirror and looked at his eyes. They still looked their brown colour and that gave Stiles a sense of comfort. Maybe he wasn't a werewolf.

But then he thought of the muscles and a car door slammed somewhere where he shouldn't be able to hear it. An image of Derek's blood covered face came to his mind and a growl escaped his lips and his eyes changed colour. Stiles jumped at his reaction and looked at his glowing eyes. They weren't like any colour he had seen on a werewolf before. Derek's were red; Scott, Erica, Boyd and Isaacs' eyes were a yellowy gold colour and Jackson's were blue, but Stiles' were a bright orange. They were nearly red, but not quite.

Stiles frowned as they faded back to brown. He wondered if they meant anything. Something to research.

After his shower, Stiles logged onto his computer and tried to look up about werewolf lore, but after five minutes he got distracted by the smell in his room. It snuck too much of sex and Derek. So he got up and got some air freshener. He sprayed out his room, hoping the spray would do the job. He didn't want to open the window to air out the room because they seemed like an open invitation to every supernatural creature to come in and make themselves at home.

Stiles decided to change the washing over and put his Dad's uniform on. Then the kitchen needed a wash and the cupboards needed sorting out and his homework needed to be done and the lawn needed to be done and he needed to get the research done and he needed to text Danny to get notes from class today and-

"Stiles!" His Dad sighed as he came into the kitchen. Stiles was making cupcakes and there was flour everywhere. There was also a basket of unfolded washing on the floor and the cupboards were open and there were tins of food all over the sides and books and his laptop on the table and the lawn mower was still out in the garden.

"Sorry," Stiles said, his thoughts feeling rushed and all over the place. He could hear the couple next door arguing again and kids playing in the green behind the garden.

"I thought you had a headache?" His Dad asked as he started putting tins away.

"I do, but I couldn't stay in bed," Stiles told him, wiping his flour covered hands on his jeans and helping put the tins away.

"Have you taken your medicine?" Dad asked. Stiles nodded, worrying his lip. He had taken another two, two more than he was supposed to, but they hadn't worked.

"Maybe they didn't work because you're ill," the Sheriff suggested, feeling Stiles' head again. Stiles' knew he was hot because Derek and Scott were always hot.

"Yeah," Stiles mumbled, swallowing away the real reason for his suppose fever.

His Dad then went around the room, trying to finish all the tasks that Stiles had started but never got to finfish. He had got distracted each time. The Adderall normally helped him focus but it hadn't worked today. He knew it was because his new body was immune to these medicines. Just like pain killers and alcohol. However, being a werewolf didn't get rid of his ADHD so he was running around like a mad man and he couldn't focus on anything, which was made 100 per cent worse by the fact he had a million more things to distract him with his enhanced senses.

Together, Stiles and the Sheriff got the kitchen cleaned up, the washing done, the lawn mower put away, the cupcakes baked and dinner on. Stiles found that he was able to focus more with his Dad around him. The smell of his Dad and his heartbeat, even though there was something wrong with it, gave Stiles something to focus on, instead of random things around him. He was still distracted by the car horn two blocks over and the fox coming out to hunt as it got dark, but not as much as before.

"Dad," Stiles said as they ate their dinner.

"Yeah," the Sheriff asked, glaring at the wholegrain rice on his fork.

"When was the last time you had a check-up at the doctors?" Stiles asked, listening to the whooshing sound coming from his Dad's chest. The Sheriff frowned, looking at his son.

"I don't know, a while I guess."

"Maybe...maybe you should go...and you know get a check-up," Stiles said nervously, "I mean, you're not getting any younger and a lot has happened recently and it wouldn't hurt to just get a check-up, you know, just in case, things can go undetected for a while and-"

"Stiles?" His Dad stopped him. Stiles looked up, his eyes moist. He could smell his Mum on his Dad again and he winced slightly, remembering the last time he had seen her. Her dead eyes looking at him.

"I'll go get a check-up," his Dad reassured him. Stiles nodded, swallowing away his tears and stuffing his mouth with rice and chicken so he could shut up.

His Dad left for work an hour later and Stiles was left alone again. He locked all the doors and made sure all the windows were shut so he didn't have any unwanted guests. He lingered in his Dad's room for a moment, smelling the scents he hadn't known were there anymore. His Mum's perfumes and some of her jewellery. They didn't smell that much like her anymore but she was still in them.

Stiles shook his head, tears coming to his eyes again. He had to get out of there as it got too much. All the memories hitting him at once. It wasn't fair. He had tried so hard to bury them and these enhance senses were bringing them to the surface again.

To shove them to one side, Stiles thought instead of Derek and how angry he was at him. This was all his fault. What had happened last night? He had been so gentle and caring and then he had just turned without warning.

Had Derek known? Had he known that he was going to lost control? Had he known that it was a risk? And it he had then why had he gone through with it? Had he wanted Stiles to become a werewolf? Was it just so he would have a stronger pack?

Rage filled Stiles and he grabbed the nearest object to him, which was a book, and thrown it against his wall. It hit a picture, which fell to the floor and smashed. He clutched his jaw tightly and clutched his fists. It was then he noticed that his nails had grown longer and sharper and there was more hair on his hands than usual. He looked up at his mirror and saw that his eyes were glowing orange again.

"No, no," Stiles whispered, pacing his room. He didn't want to change. He needed to stay in control.

"Calm down," he mumbled, but it didn't work. Nothing worked. He thought of his Dad but he felt too guilty when he thought of his Dad. Too sad when he thought of his Mum. Too angry when he thought of Derek.

He paced the floor of his room. He had too much energy to sit down but he was too scared to go out because he didn't want to run into Derek.

Finally he put a movie on. Good old Star Wars because how could someone get distracted from Star Wars?

And it worked. Stiles laid on his bed and watched the film without getting up once, and then, by some small miracle, he fell asleep through the credits. Someone up there loved him, he decided as he drafted off.


	2. Chapter 2

_**I forgot to mention this but I wrote this months ago but it has been gathering dust on my laptop. I finally decided to post it. Enjoy :) **_

**6 Months before the bite **

Stiles laid on his front on his bed, staring at the wall in front of him. His back hurt and this was the only position he could be in that was even remotely comfortable. His mind was pleasantly numb, a result of taking way too many Adderall. However, they didn't get rid of the pain in his bruised body and every time he moved he winced. It had been a long night and he wanted to go to sleep but he was waiting for a phone call.

He was so tired that he didn't realise that Derek was in his room until he spoke.

"You stink of medicine," the Alpha said. Stiles was too drugged up to jump and all he did was raise his eyes to look at the werewolf, who was standing by the window, his face blank. Stiles didn't reply but he tried to sit up. A wave of pain went through his back though and even though he tried not to show it, Derek saw. He came over in three quick steps and he looked like he wanted to touch Stiles but he stopped himself. Stiles managed to sit up and crossed his legs and looked at Derek, who was definitely hovering.

"How are Erica and Boyd?" Stiles asked.

After Gerard had dumped him back at his house, after kidnapping and beating the crap out of him, Stiles had stumbled onto the porch and called Derek to tell him where the betas were. Derek had been angry but said he was planning on how to take Gerard out right at that moment and he would get Erica and Boyd soon. And then all the drama had gone down and Gerard had disappeared and Jackson had turned into a werewolf.

Lydia had taken Stiles home to rest and Derek, Isaac and Scott had gone to rescue the other werewolves. By then Stiles' Adderall had worn off and he really didn't want to go back to the Argent's house. He had started to shake just thinking about it.

"Isaac and Scott are looking after them but they will be fine," Derek answered, sitting on the bed next to him. Stiles nodded, hugging his pillow to his chest. His mind was still too slow and tired to think properly and now he know that Erica and Boyd were ok he could sleep.

"They told me what Gerard did," Derek said and Stiles was surprised to hear concern in his voice.

"It's nothing," Stiles told him.

"Show me," Derek said and it sounded like an order. If Stiles had been less drugged out he would have come up with some smart remark. Instead he just sighed and lifted his shirt. When Gerard had been punching and kicking him, Stiles had rolled over to get away from him and Gerard had started to kick his back over and over again. His entire back was bruised and there were a few areas of broken skin. He hadn't shown his Dad, not wanting him to worry anymore.

Stiles jumped as he felt a warm hand on his back and then sighed as the pain left him and his shoulders slumped in relief.

"Thank you," he breathed, turning around and looked at Derek who looked slightly shocked at the gratefulness.

"I'll come back in the morning to do it again," Derek told him and made to stand up. Stiles reached out to grab Derek's arm. Derek looked shocked again but he didn't growl or glare at Stiles.

"Stay," Stiles mumbled.

"What?" Derek asked, frowning.

"I'm scared Gerard will come back," Stiles told him, honest in his tired and numb state. Derek hesitated for a moment before nodding. He sat on the edge of the bed as Stiles laid down again.

"You can lie down as well if you want," Stiles mumbled, nearly asleep already. Derek didn't at first and Stiles didn't think he would, but just as he was drafting off he felt the bed drip and a hand rest on his waist.

Derek was gone when he woke up but he must have only just gone because his back wasn't hurting. Stiles felt embarrassed by his actions last night. Asking Derek to stay with him? How needy and girly and urgh! He was lucky that Derek hadn't torn his throat out. How was he going to look at Derek ever again?

It actually wasn't that hard, Stiles realised when he next saw Derek and he didn't act any different. Just his grumpy, stalker-eyed self. Maybe Derek was just as embarrassed as him. Either way, neither of them said anything and Stiles kept the fact that Derek had a heart a secret.

**Present Day **

Stiles managed to get the next day off school by giving his Dad the best puppy-dog eyes he could manage. It must be a skill that you get when you turn into a werewolf because his Dad sighed and nodded.

"Fine, but you're going in tomorrow."

Stiles nodded, pulling the covers to his chin. His Dad came over and sat on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on Stiles' forehead. His hand felt cold against Stiles' warm head.

"You still have a slight fever," his Dad said, his brow frowned in worry.

"I'm fine Dad, just the flu I think," Stiles tried to reassure him, trying to smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. His Dad noticed.

"Has something happened?" He asked, "You don't seem yourself."

Stiles shook his head, the fake smile still on his face.

"I'm fine Dad, I'll be at school tomorrow, I promise."

The sheriff nodded and patted his shoulder.

"Try and rest today, ok?"

Stiles just nodded and the Sheriff left, leaving Stiles to crawl deeper into his covers and try and block the noises of the busy morning. The only way he could keep his head in one place was by listening to his Dad settle down in bed and his breathing even out. It was comforting in a way, knowing his Dad was near and safe and peacefully asleep, but at the same time Stiles could still hear the weird sound in his Dad's heart and it worried him.

Finally, after most of his neighbours had gone to work or school, Stiles got up to shower and get ready. He put his headphones on so he couldn't hear much. He automatically took his Adderall and then started doing his homework. Danny emailed him the notes from yesterday's lessons so he decided now was a great time to catch up. It was difficult and he ended up side tracking many times. He watched episodes of Breaking Bad, cleaned out his wardrobe and started a short story that he had been planning for a while. Well, he opened up word and wrote and rewrote the first sentence about ten times before deciding to get started on his maths homework.

The doorbell rang at about 4pm and Stiles could smell who it was before the person even got to the door. He sighed and went downstairs, dragging out his steps until the person rang the doorbell again.

"Ok, ok," Stiles sighed, opening the door. Scott stood there, his mouth gulping and his eyes wide.

"Stiles!" He said, seeming speechless, "You're...you're..."

Stiles sighed again, annoyed. He pushed Scott out onto the pouch, going with him, and shut the door behind them so that his Dad couldn't hear them.

"You're a werewolf!" Scott exclaimed.

"How can you tell?" Stiles asked.

"I can smell it," his friend told him and Stiles realised what he meant. Scott did smell different to his Dad and his neighbours, who had been the only people he had been near since he had become a werewolf. Scott smelt of his apple shampoo and of Alison's perfume, but he also smelt like wood and dirt and fur. Like it was engraved on his soul. Stiles wondered if he smelt the same. He hadn't been in the woods since he was bitten so he didn't think so.

Thinking of the forest made something inside him stir and he felt a desire to run and climb and jump through the trees and bushes.

Well, that was strange. Stiles normally avoided exercise and now he wanted to do it.

"What happened? Did Derek do this?" Scott asked. He looked worried but excited and very confused, but Scott always looked confused.

"Yes, Derek bit me," Stiles sighed, pacing the pouch. Now he was outside all he wanted to do was move. He felt trapped.

"Did you ask from for the bite?" Scott asked and Stiles rubbed a hand through his short hair.

"No, of course I didn't," he told him, his tone angry.

"What!?" Scott asked, even more confused now.

"I really don't want to talk about it," Stiles told him, his pacing getting more frantic, "I just skipped school because I can't control the whole multiple senses thing and I can hear everything and that is just from my room so I thought that school would be even worse and I didn't call you because I thought it would be weird to be like 'hi Scott, guess what, I have sharp teeth and the ability to heal very quickly now, we should call ourselves the wolfy bros or something just as lame' and I needed time to think but it hasn't worked because I can't think straight and the walls feel like they're closing in and I can't breathe because there is so much going on and I can hear everything, and did you know that there is something wrong with my Dad's heart?"

He stopped pacing and looked at Scott, whose mouth was agape.

"What...? No, of course I didn't, I...I've learnt not to listen to everything," he told Stiles.

"Well good for someone," Stiles grumbled, wringing his hands together.

"So Derek bit you on purpose, when you didn't want it?" Scott asked, a growl in his throat as his eyes flashed yellow in anger.

"I don't know if he meant to do it," Stiles told him quickly, "But yeah, pretty much."

"I'm going to go over there," Scott growled, his eyes still yellow.

"No," Stiles said firmly and to his surprise Scott stopped where he was and his eyes returned to their normal colour and he just stared at Stiles, looking slightly surprised himself.

"No, just leave it," Stiles told him, pacing again. Scott watched his nervous and restless movements.

"Have you actually been outside since you changed?" He asked.

"Not really, just in my garden," Stiles replied.

"Come on," Scott laughed and then pulled Stiles to his jeep.

"Where are you going?" Stiles asked, allowing himself to be dragged.

"I'll show you the good things about being a werewolf," Scott told him. They got into the car and Scott directed him to the forest the other side of the town, away from the Hale house.

Stiles took a deep breath when they got out of the car. He could smell pine, grass, red berries and fur. So many smells but they smelt fresh and natural and something inside of him wanted to run through all of it. Just run until he couldn't think anymore.

"Race you," Scott grinned, as if reading Stiles' mind. Stiles looked at his best friend, grateful beyond belief, before setting off in a run.

Immediately he felt different. He felt free. He could hear Scott running beside him and this excited him. They ran through the trees and the brushes, the wind rushing past them. Stiles' feet seemed to know exactly where roots and rocks were because he jumped over each one and didn't trip once. He could hear the squirrels and deer running away from them but he didn't want to chase after them. He wanted to out run Scott, who was close on his heels. He heard his best friend laugh and he looked around, a smile on his face as he snuck his tongue out. Scott quickened his pace slightly and Stiles could see he was going to beat him so he span around and caught Scott's body before pushing down, pinning him to the ground. Scott looked winded for a moment before laughing again and pushing Stiles away with strength he had been too scared to use on his friend in a long time. Stiles jumped backwards and crouched down and Scott did the same. They circled each other and Stiles felt excited and happy and everything he hadn't the last couple of days.

Scott pounced first but Stiles managed to dodge him, much to both of theirs surprise. Scott pounced again and caught him and they were both wrestling, dragging each other to the ground and rolling over each other. The forest was soon alive with the sound of their laughter.

They use to wrestle all of the time when they had both been human. They were both guys and they had known each other since they were two, so it was just natural for them to play fight. It had never lasted that long though because of Scott's asthma and then it had stopped altogether when he had become a werewolf because of the sharp teeth and claws and increased strength.

But this felt great. They felt like brothers again.

They messed around for hours; wrestling and racing each other but when it started to get dark they decided to head back as not to worry their parents.

They walked back side by side, laughing and chatting. It was the closest Stiles had felt to Scott in a long time and he felt relaxed.

That was until he smelt a familiar scent. The scent that had lingered in his room, even though he had changed the bedding and scrubbed the whole place. He spun round to see Derek standing behind them. Scott followed his actions and growled when he saw the alpha.

Derek's eyes looked blank as always as he looked at Stiles, who tensed under his glance.

"You didn't die," Derek said, stepping closer. Scott stepped in front of Stiles, his claws out and posed ready to attack.

"No thanks to you," he growled.

"Back down Scott, this has nothing to do with you," Derek told him firmly.

"Of course it does," Scott told him, "Stiles is my best friend and you hurt him."

Both Derek and Stiles were taken aback. Scott had officially become part of Derek's pack months ago, so he was pretty much programmed to do whatever Derek told him to do. However, he had just disobeyed a direct order from Derek and hadn't even realised.

"It's ok Scott," Stiles whispered behind him and Scott instantly calmed down. His claws retracted and he stood up straight, stepping behind Stiles.

Both Derek and Stiles noticed this, but Scott seemed oblivious. Stiles frowned before looking back at Derek, who looked lost for a moment before his black, if a little grumpy, persona took over again. Stiles hated it when he did that; always hiding his emotions. Part of Stiles, the new wolf part of him, wanted to go over and wrap his arms around the moody alpha, but a bigger part of him, the human part, wanted to kick and punch him.

"What are you doing here?" Stiles asked instead.

"I smelt you and I wanted to see if you were ok," Derek told him.

"No, I'm not ok," Stiles snared, "You've completely turned by world upside down."

"I didn't mean to-" Derek started but Stiles cut him off, stepping forward and glaring at him. His eyes flashed orange as he growled.

"I don't want to hear it and I don't want you anywhere near me."

Derek looked shocked as he watched Stiles' wolf come out in his temper.

"I trusted you Derek!" Stiles said, his voice breaking slightly. He cleared his throat and stood up straight, determined to hold onto his dignity for once.

"Just leave me alone, I can't stand to be near you."

And before he could see Derek's reaction, Stiles spun around and started walking towards his jeep. Scott followed quickly behind him.

**6 months before the bite**

Stiles stared up at the stars, trying to count them but he kept losing count way too quickly. He shivered, wishing he had brought an extra jacket. It was summer but the nights still got pretty cold. He took a swig of the bottle of whiskey ha was holding, knowing it would warm him.

He was in the woods, lying in a clearing with his head against a rock. He looked up at the dark sky, his mind numb with the drink. He had drunk a lot, but he had planned on getting drunk. Just to forget everything for a little while.

He started counting the stars again, concentrating really hard on counting them all. He lost count again as someone stood over him. He was so drunk he didn't even flinch.

"Derek, you made me lose count!" Stiles laughed in mock anger.

"You stink of whiskey," Derek told him, looking down at him. He had his hands in his leather jacket and his eyebrows were raised as he looked down at Stiles.

"Do I ever not stink?" Stiles asked, not realising he was slurring his words.

"No, but whiskey smells really bad," Derek replied as he wrinkled his nose.

"Aww, that was so adorable," Stiles cooed and Derek frowned.

"Like a little puppy!" Stiles giggled, not scared of Derek and his glare at that moment.

"How did you find me?" Stiles asked, taking another swig of his Jack Daniels.

"I was out for a walk and I smelt you," Derek replied, before bending down to grab the bottle.

"No!" Stiles snapped, holding it tightly to his chest, "Jack is my only friend at the moment, don't take him away."

"What happened to Scott?" Derek asked, straightening up and looking down at him again.

"Scott's a bastard!" Stiles told him, sitting up and pointing at the werewolf, "he doesn't care about me, he doesn't care about anything, just Alison, even though she nearly killed Erica and Boyd, I mean, how fucked up is that!?"

He took another swig and pouted as the bottle became empty.

"Oh Jack, why do you have to disappointment as well?" He chucked the bottle to one side and it rolled over in the grass. Stiles leant back against the rock, closing his eyes in frustration. He felt Derek sit next to him and he opened his eyes, looking up at the stars.

"Me and Scott used to come here all of the time, whenever one of us was upset, but when he became a werewolf and found out that he couldn't get drunk anymore, he just stopped coming," Stiles mumbled, "I still like getting drunk and I still get upset!"

"You know, drinking isn't always the best thing to do," Derek told him. Stiles started laughing and once he started he couldn't stop. He hit Derek playfully, who looked at him like he was crazy.

"Oh come on!" Stiles laughed, wiping the tears from the corner of his eye, "You are a werewolf! And you live in an abandoned train warehouse, but you're telling me that drinking is bad for me."

He laid back down, still giggling. His head was lying just beside Derek's leg, where he had hit him earlier. He could feel that his skin was warm even through his jeans.

"What are you upset about?" Derek asked.

"You don't care," Stiles mumbled, staring back up at the sky. The dark sky with its twinkling lights calmed him.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't care," Derek replied, but Stiles remained quiet. The drink was making him feel sleepy and his eyes closed. He shivered, the cold getting to him. He wrapped his arm around his chest, too tired and drunk to get up and actually leave.

He suddenly felt a soft warm weight on him and he opened his eyes slightly to see himself covered with Derek's leather jacket. Stiles smiled and then turned over so he was pressed against Derek's side. Derek tensed slightly but Stiles felt him slowly relax.

Stiles shamelessly nuzzled into Derek's side. It was warm and soft and everything Stiles needed at that moment. He went to sleep pretty quickly.

Derek was there when he woke up, lying down now with Stiles pressed to his side. Stiles quickly rolled away and then groaned as Jack betrayed him once more by giving him a headache and a rolling stomach.

"I think I'm going to die," Stiles moaned, putting his head in-between his legs. He heard Derek chuckled beside him and felt a tag on his arm.

"Come on, I'll drive you home where you can die there," Derek told him. Stiles slowly obeyed and then followed Derek through the trees. His head felt light but not in a good way. He needed his bed and a bucket and a mouthful of adderall. He was glad when they reached his jeep where he had parked it in a small clearing near the road, and grateful when Derek took his keys and got into the driver's seat. Stiles defiantly didn't feel like driving.

The drive back was all kinds of awkward silence and his house was a welcome sight.

"Erm..." Stiles started, not knowing the proper etiquette here. What do you say to the werewolf who let you sleep on him in the middle of the woods, drunk, and then drives you home the next morning?

"Thanks for, you know, looking after me last night and making sure I didn't get eaten by badgers or something like that."

"Its fine," Derek told him, not moving. Stiles felt weird being the first one to step out of his car but he went to open the door anyway. He stopped as Derek put a hand on his arm.

"You can talk to me, you know," Derek said and Stiles felt too embarrassed to look at him.

"Eh...thanks," Stiles mumbled, blushing like an idiot. Before waiting for Derek to say anything else, Stiles opened the door and fled into his house.

**Present day**

Stiles walked along the school corridor with his eyes on the ground, trying to block out everything. The girls laughing by the lockers, the boys playfully teasing each other, the kid panicking over his homework in the library, the girl crying in the bathroom, the teacher arguing on the phone with his wife, the kids bullying a fresher in the changing room.

"Hey," one voice managed to bring him back to focus. Scott was standing next to his locker with Isaac.

"Hi," Stiles mumbled, opening his locker and wincing as someone slammed theirs shut behind him.

"You look rough man," Isaac told him, leaning against the row of lockers beside him.

"Yeah, well, being a werewolf doesn't agree with me as much as it does for you," Stiles told him, frowning as he heard someone being shoved against a locker. He could smell fear, sadness, hurt coming from all around him.

"You'll learn how to control your senses," Scott reassured him.

"How do you deal with it?" Stiles asked, leaning his head against the door of his locker. He wanted to curl up in his bed, with Derek's strong arms around him, stroking his hair and-

No! He was still angry with Derek, he reminded himself.

"I use to have my headphones in all the time," Boyd told him, coming up behind them. Erica was with him. She looked at Stiles like he was an adorable puppy.

"Hey Wolfy boy," she cooed and he glared at her, but there was no real anger behind it. He was too tired. The neighbours next door had been arguing all night. Their house was too far away for normal human ears to hear but now he had wolf ears he could every word.

Thinking that Boyd's idea was a good one, Stiles started searching through his bag.

"I've left my headphones at home," he moaned, closing his eyes and sighing in frustration. He felt something being pushed into his hand and he opened his eyes to see Boyd holding him his headphones.

Stiles looked at him, surprised but touched. Boyd had always given off the impression that he couldn't stand him.

"Anything you need, just ask," Erica smiled, before grabbing Boyd's hand and stalking down the hallway towards their first lesson.

"What just happened?" Stiles asked, looking after them, confused. Isaac patted his shoulder, grinning at him.

"You're one of us now," Isaac told him, "We've got to stick together."

"Yeah, yeah," Stiles smiled, plugging the headphones into his ears and turning his music on. Good old Alkaline Trio blustered into his ears and the majority of the sounds around him went away. He sighed in relief and then said goodbye to the two werewolves, before walking towards his first period.

He could still hear things but only things around him. He tried to focus on the lyrics and it worked mostly. He pulled his hood up as he walked into his classroom and sat at the back of the room. He hoped that his teachers would leave him alone as long as he looked like he was concentrating on what they were saying and doing the work. For some teachers it did work but in third period, the teacher demanded Stiles take his hood off and look like he was part of the class.

As soon as he took off the headphones, Stiles was hit by an overwhelming amount of noise. He couldn't focus then. There was too much going on. It was like he could hear everything!

He could hear the kid right at the back of the class scribbling a massive circle or something. It was really annoying. The chalk on the board sent chills down his spin and had him clutching the table. His teeth felt on edge as the teacher slowly stroked the chalk down. Stiles always heard someone crying somewhere in the school and someone else talking on the phone down the hall. He shouldn't be able to hear these things. He didn't want to hear these things; the pain in the sobs and private conversations. It wasn't right.

He didn't want it!

"Stiles!" A voice shook him out of it. He looked up to see Scott looking at him with concerned eyes. Stiles looked down to his hands to see that his nails had grown and he had clawed into the wood, leaving long scratches on the desk. He snatched his hands away and then quickly covered the damage with his notepad.

"You ok?" Scott whispered, leaning over him. Stiles shook his head, biting his lip.

"Just concentrate on one thing," Scott told him.

"I can't," Stiles said, his voice desperate.

"Try my heart," Scott said and Stiles could smell his slight embarrassment but it was overshadowed by Scott's need to help his friend. Stiles obeyed and concentrated on the soft thumping of Scott's hear. The even, steady beats calmed Stiles' own heartbeats so it wasn't racing so much and his nails grew back to their normal shape and length. He could still hear the crying and the chalk was still unnecessary loud, but Stiles didn't feel as stressed out. He still couldn't concentrate on the actual lesson though and spent the rest of the lesson staring at his desk.

As soon as the bell ran, Stiles rushed out of the classroom, not even saying goodbye to Scott. He went straight to his car, not caring that he still had half the day to go. He drove home quickly and as soon as he pulled up he rested his head on his stirring wheel and sighed. He felt sick and his head hurt.

The full moon was in a week as well so Stiles knew this was going to get a lot worse. He needed a strategy and he needed one now, otherwise his grades were going to slip and he will never be able to step outside his house again.

For now he swallowed two more adderall. He looked at the white pot, reading the label that said in bold 'ONLY TAKE 2 A DAY'. He was on his fourth, but he shrugged and downed two more.

When he got into the house his Dad was waiting for him. He was sitting on the couch in his dressing gown, looking tired and worried. Stiles looked at him sheepishly.

"I got a call from the school," the Sheriff told him.

"I still don't feel well," Stiles mumbled, sitting next to him and staring at the wall. He hated lying to his Dad.

"You can't keep missing school like this," his Dad said.

"I know," Stiles sighed, rubbing his head.

"I've got a Doctor's appointment in the morning, do you want to make one for you?" The Sheriff asked. Stiles shook his head.

"No, I'll be in school tomorrow, I promise," Stiles told him. The Sheriff nodded.

"Well, I don't want you going out tonight, if you're ill you stay in."

Stiles nodded and the Sheriff patted his leg.

"If these headaches persist then you're going to have to go to the Doctors," the Sheriff told him, seriously and Stiles could smell the fear on him. Stiles looked at him to see his Dad's eyes looking older than they should. Stiles swallowed the lump in his throat and said,

"They're probably nothing, Dad, it's just the flu or something."

"Yes," his Dad tried to say with conviction that wasn't there, "Probably, now go get some rest."

Stiles obeyed and went to his room. He tried to shake the guilt away of lying to his Dad and making him worry, but Stiles knew that was a feeling that wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

* * *

"What did you do?" A concerned voice said as Stiles vomited his guts into the toilet for the third time.

"Go away," Stiles moaned, turning his head to see Derek standing in the doorway, looking worried and angry.

"You stink," he said, coming into the room. Stiles groaned, resting his head on his arm which was in the toilet seat, not caring how gross that was.

"How did you get in here?" He asked.

"Your dad left his window open," Derek told him, kneeling down next to him.

"Why are you here?" Stiles growled.

"I heard you throwing up and I wanted to make sure you were ok."

"I'm fine," Stiles grumbled before throwing up again. He groaned as he saw the small white pills floating in the toilet. He had taken too many, he knew that, but he had got frustrated with them not working. He thought that if he took enough then they would have to start working. Instead his body rejected them and he started vomiting his guts out.

He felt something cold being pushing into his hand. Derek had gotten him a glass of water and Stiles wanted to be angry but he was in fact grateful. He glared at Derek nevertheless as he downed half of it.

"I don't need you here," Stiles told him.

"Stiles, why did you take so many?" Derek asked and Stiles could hear the grief in his voice. This took Stiles aback.

"I wasn't trying to top myself if that is what you are thinking," Stiles told him, "I just wanted them to work."

"You shouldn't need them anymore," Derek said, sitting on the edge of the bath. Stiles looked up at him and glared at him.

"My ADHD isn't like Scott's asthma or Erica's epilepsy, it isn't something physical that the bite just cures! It's to do with my mind and it is still in me, the bite just made it ten times worse! I can hear everything, Derek, everything!" Stiles told him, his voice steadily raising, "Before the adderall kept me focused and I could actually function, even if you didn't like the smell, but now my amazing new body just absorbs them and they have no effect, so in short my mind is way more active than it should be, my medication doesn't work and it is all your fault!"

"I'm sorry," Derek mumbled, and Stiles looked at him, not believing the sincerity in his voice.

"Yeah, just know that you've ruined my life and all because you wanted your stupid little pack to be stronger," Stiles growled, leaning away from the toilet and against the cupboard under the sink. He took a sip of the water and looked at Derek, wanted to make sure his next words got through to the thick werewolf's head.

"Well, it all went to waste anyway because there is no way I am joining your pack."

"I didn't mean to bite you," Derek told him, sounding desperate.

"Did you know about my Dad's heart?" Stiles asked, because maybe, just maybe, Stiles could forgive him if his answer was the same as Scott's. If Derek hadn't known that his Dad wasn't well then he had one less think to be angry about. But if Derek had heard the odd heartbeat of his Dad's and hadn't said anything...well, Stiles didn't think he could ever forgive Derek. Ever.

"Yes," Derek answered after a slight hesitation.

The glass in Stiles' hand broke as he squeezed it too hard. He felt his eyes change colour and the hair on his hands grow. His teeth were sharp as he growled at Derek.

"Get out!"

"Stiles, I knew it was nothing!" Derek told him, standing up as Stiles stood up, his claws sharp.

"Get out!" Stiles yelled, his whole body shaking in anger.

"Stiles, calm down," Derek said, his own claws growing but the rest of his body stayed the same.

"No!" Stiles yelled, "I don't want to be a werewolf, Derek! I don't want to be able to hear every little thing, like my Dad's unhealthy heart and the couple next door arguing and the girls in the bathroom crying."

"I'm sorry," Derek said again, his voice quiet. He looked at Stiles, his green eyes meeting Stiles' bright orange eyes, "I am really sorry."

Stiles stopped for a moment, breathing heavily and looking at Derek's guilt ridden face. Stiles could tell it was guilt because he had seen it often enough on his own face. Stiles' hands unclenched at his side and his nails grew back to their normal size.

"Just..." Stiles mumbled, looking away, "Just leave."

And Derek did. He walked past Stiles, who closed his eyes as he did so. Half of him wanted Derek to stop and touch him. To hold him and kiss him. The other half wanted to tear his eyes out.

Derek left and Stiles stood still, trying to calm his nerves and his racing heart. He felt drained and his head was pounding. It was late and he hadn't managed to finish his homework. He had to go to school tomorrow and his heart hurt. It was like it was covered in lead, weighing it down and pressing it tightly.

Stiles felt his body return to normal and he quickly cleaned up the broken glass and flushed away his failed attempt of sanity. He stripped down and crawled underneath the covers, pulling the bedding over his head. It was dark and for once quiet. It took him a while to realise it was quiet though and when he did it felt slightly weird. He could hear one thing. A heartbeat. It wasn't his own though because his was always fast and erratic. This one was slow and steady. It was Derek's.

Stiles could smell him now as well. He was sitting in his car across the road; the window open.

The wolf inside Stiles whined with want when he realised Derek was there.

"Go away," Stiles mumbled, half to Derek, half to the new wolf inside of him, "I don't need you here."

Derek didn't reply and Stiles had half a mind to go down there and tell him where to shove it. The sound of the heartbeat was too relaxing though and Stiles found himself listening intently to it, counting each beat like he would sheep.

By 25 he was asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**5 months before the bite**

"What are we doing here?" Stiles sighed as they crouched low behind a bush.

"Shh," Derek said, looking out through the trees, searching for something. Stiles rolled his eyes, grimacing as he accidently leant his hand into some wet mud. He hoped it was wet mud anyway.

"Wouldn't it have been better to bring one of your betas? I mean, they have better senses and they have an inbuilt heater in their veins," he said, shivering slightly as the night air blow around them. Derek didn't respond but he reached out and wrapped his hand around Stiles' wrist in a lose grip. Straight away warmth filled him, radiating from Derek's hand. Stiles relaxed slightly after that, listening out for any sign of hunters.

A new lot of hunters had arrived in town, after hearing about the kanima and Gerald going missing. Derek wanted to check them out. Apparently they followed the code bit Derek didn't want to risk the teen wolves. So he had dragged Stiles along because no hunter would harm a human.

Hopefully anyway.

They stayed there for a while, just waiting. Stiles found himself drafting off just from the comfortable heat filling him. It was completely silent and Stiles was so tired. It was late and he had school tomorrow, and he knew his Dad was going to kill him for being out this late on a week day.

Suddenly a twig snapped and it was so loud that Stiles jumped. Derek stood up to face the hunters who were grinning at them and holding guns and crossbows. There were three of them and they all looked quite young; maybe about the same age as Derek.

Stiles stood up and stood beside Derek, whose fists were clutched bit there were no claws out yet.

"So you're the alpha?" One hunter asked, sounding cocky and annoying. Stiles wanted to growl at him.

"Not as impressive as the last one we sorted out," another hunter commented and then they all chuckled.

"You have no right to be here, we haven't harmed anyone," Derek told them, standing tall. Stiles bit his lip, nervous about being in front of so many weapons.

"Well, that's not true is it?" The hunter standing in front of the others said, "There was a whole massacre here and one of our head hunters has gone missing."

"That wasn't us," Stiles said, taking a small step forward, feeling defensive over his friends, "A human did that and Gerald just went, we didn't do anything part from save others from being killed."  
"We? Us?" The hunter laughed, "You're a human, aren't you? Why are you even hanging out with these monsters? They will turn on you one day."

Stiles shook his head, clutching his fists as well.

"They're not monsters," he told them, "They're not the ones standing here with weapons."

The hunter shrugged, looking indifferent.

"We have orders and we are going to follow them," and then quicker than either Derek or Stiles could react, the hunter raised his handgun and shot. Stiles reacted just quick enough to move in front of Derek.

Time slowed down as the bullet hit him and he fell backwards into Derek, who caught him.

The next thing he knew Stiles was staring up at the sky and wow, the stars were out tonight. They were pretty and shiny bright. Derek's face came into his sight then, blocking the stars. Time caught back up and pain filled him and he groaned, holding his side. All he could feel was wetness.

"Shit," Stiles said, through gritted teeth, "Shit, fuck, those fucking bastards!"

Derek looked panicked as he held a hand on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. Stiles heard him hiss but he ignored it as he tried not to shout.

"It's ok, I'll get you out of here, you're ok," Derek said, too fast for him to be calm. Stiles felt himself being picked up and he heard faintly Derek telling him to keep pressure on the hole in his side. He then felt Derek running and air rushing past them but it all felt so far away, like it wasn't actually happening to him but he was watching it.

Things started to go black and he faintly heard Derek yelling before he was completely gone.

* * *

When Stiles woke up the first thing he noticed was that he was on a metal table. He groaned as he realised that he was at Dr Deaton's practice.

"I'm not a dog," he grumbled, and then hissed as pain shot through him.

"Stay still," he heard someone say, so Stiles opened his eyes to see the vet standing over him.

"What happened?" Stiles asked, his eyes a bit blurry around the edges.

"You were shot, but the bullet missed all of your vital organs. You're going to be a bit sore for a while," Dr Deaton told him, his eyes soft. Stiles blinked a few times, feeling really out of it. He was lightheaded and he felt numb.

"Where's Derek?" He asked and then the wolf was beside him, looking worried and pale.

"Are you ok?" Stiles asked, reaching out and touching his arm. Derek flinched but tried to hide it. Stiles saw it through and looked at Derek's arm. They were both red and covered in blisters. He had his top off and there were patches of red blisters all over his chest as well. Stiles brought his hand back, holding it to his chest.

"What happened?" Stiles asked, his voice shaking.

"There was wolf bane in the bullet and it got into your blood so when your blood got onto Derek, it burnt his skin."

Stiles felt tears in his eyes as he looked over Derek's normally flawless chest. It looked painful.

"I did this?" Stiles asked.

"No," Derek shook his head, "the hunters did."

"I'm sorry," Stiles said, feeling guilty through his tiredness and dizziness. He felt tears slip down his cheeks and he covered his eyes with his arm.

"Stiles," Derek said, his tone soft. Stiles felt Derek bury his face against his neck and he was so shocked that he missed a breath. Derek wasn't touching him with his hands but his face was completely hidden in his neck, his nose rubbing against Stiles' skin.

"I'm fine, Stiles," Derek reassured him, his voice ghosting along Stiles' skin, "I will heal by the morning."

Stiles moved his arm so his fingers were in Derek's hair. It was softer than he expected. Stiles turned his head so their foreheads were resting together. He knew Derek would probably kill him in the morning for this but for now he would just let this happen.

"Go to sleep Stiles," he heard Derek mumbled and Stiles obeyed.

* * *

Stiles woke up to lips against his. Just as they were there, they were gone, but they had been there. Stiles took a couple of minutes to open his eyes and when he did he saw a pink tinted Derek, sitting on the floor beside him. They were now in his bedroom and Stiles was on the bed and Derek was staring at the wall, his arms and hands in bandages.

"You can do it again if you want," Stiles mumbled, sleepily.

"I thought you were asleep," Derek said, his voice quiet and his eyes still on the wall.

"Yeah, but you woke me up," Stiles smiled, reaching his hand out and touching Derek's cheek. The wolf closed his eyes briefly and leant his face into the touch.

"Come on," Stiles said softly and Derek nodded before leaning up and over Stiles. Their lips meet and Stiles had his second kiss. It was soft and hesitate and nothing like he expected a kiss from Derek Hale to be. Derek was cupping his face in a gentle grip, the bandages rough but his warmth was seeping through to Stiles' cold cheeks. Stiles' hand found itself in Derek's hair and Oh My God, how did Derek get his hair so soft? Did he even have a shower in that abandoned warehouse? His lips were soft as well as they moved against his. Did Derek Hale use chap stick? Or was it just the werewolf in him.

"Stop," Derek said, his lips still against Stiles'.

"What?" Stiles asked, his voice still slurred from pain and drugs.

"You think too much," Derek told him, moving his head and nosing Stiles' neck. Stiles snorted.

"I think it's impossible for me to stop thinking," he said, stroking Derek's hair absent-mindedly.

"Try," Derek mumbled under his breath, almost like a purr. He kissed along Stiles' neck, sucking at his pulse point.

"Ohh," Stiles breathed, his hands stilling and his eyes sliding shut. Derek's breath was hot against his skin and it felt amazing. Stiles laid there, completely still as Derek kissed up his neck and then rubbed his nose against Stiles' cheek. His stubble was rough but Stiles liked it.

"There we go," he felt Derek say against his cheek. Stiles turned his head slightly so he was resting against Derek's cheek, and for the first time in his memory he wasn't thinking about a hundred things at once. He felt calm and relaxed and all he could think about was Derek's warm body lined against his.

"This is a nice dream," Stiles mumbled, feeling the heat of Derek's body lolling him into sleep again.

"It's not a dream, Stiles," he felt Derek say, his breath tickling his skin. Stiles chuckled, a smile on his face as Derek gently kissed his lips.

"It must be a dream," Stiles yawned, "You're too hot to be kissing me, and grumpy."

He then fell asleep, nestled against the big bad wolf.

Stiles woke the next morning to unbearable pain in his

* * *

stomach. He yelled, clutching his side and he rolled onto his other side, rolling into Derek, who was awake and looking at Stiles with wide eyes. Stiles felt a hand against his stomach and the pain went away, flowing away from him slowly. He fell back against the pillows, breathing heavily. He opened his eyes to see Derek clutching his fist while thin black veins crawled up his arm and disappeared into his skin, which was still covered in bandages.

"You shouldn't have done that," Stiles said, feeling guilty for causing Derek more pain.

"You're hurt because of me," Derek told him, his face bowed as he clutched and unclutched his fist, "the least I can do is help with the pain."

He started to undo the bandages then, unrevealing them to show smooth skin. Stiles watched as the bandages fell onto the bed and then Derek took off his shirt and started to take the bandages around his torso off. Stiles had to resist the urge to reach out and touch Derek's skin.

"So last night wasn't a dream?" Stiles asked, feeling his cheeks redden just thinking about last night and Derek's lips against his.

Shit, werewolves can smell emotions and by the way Derek was looking at him with that smirk, he knew that Stiles was thinking about the kiss. Derek leant forward and captured Stiles' lips with his. It was a soft kiss and lasted only a second but it left Stiles speechless as he stared at Derek with wide eyes and a gaping mouth.

"No, it wasn't a dream," Derek told him smugly.

"Oh my God," Stiles breathed.

**Present Day**

Stiles was pacing up and down his room, his fists clutching and unclutching.

He had been a werewolf for two weeks now and it was the full moon tonight. He had managed to go back to school, but he was really struggling. It was too noisy and he couldn't focus on his work, but his Dad wasn't as worried anymore so that made it worth it. The doctor had told his Dad that the heart murmur was nothing to worry about and that it was just due to stress, so Stiles was trying to cause his Dad as little stress as possible, which meant going to school.

Scott was meant to be meeting Stiles here and then taking him to the woods while he wolfs out tonight, but it was already dark and Scott was nowhere, and he wasn't answering his phone. Stiles knew he couldn't handle this on his own. His Dad was due home soon and his nails were already long and sharp and his eyes kept flickering blood orange. He felt angry, like there was an itch under his skin and he needed to tear someone's guys out to get rid of that itch. At the moment Scott was at the top of his list.

Stiles picked his phone back up and groaned as he saw hair on the back of his hand. He rang Scott again and nearly yelled as his phone went to answer phone.

"Scott, where the hell are you? This isn't cool, dude, I think I'm losing control, why aren't you here?" Stiles then threw the phone across the room. It smashed against the wall and Stiles growled, shaking. His vision was going weird. All blurry and black and orange. He could hear people talking in the house next door and he could smell the cat out the front, walking along the street. He wanted to hunt and run and howl.

"No, no, no," Stiles growled, shaking his head and clutching his short hair, feeling the scrap of his claws against his scalp.

He rushed to the bathroom and turned the shower on, remembering that Scott had done that to calm down a couple of times. He sat in the bath fully clothed, the water pouring down on him. He could still smell the cat and there was some guy walking past the house and Stiles needed to hurt something.

Stiles was nearly crying at how frustrated he felt. He had never wanted to hurt anyone ever. His Mum always taught him to be kind and compassionate and that he would get no dessert if he ever hit anyone.

And now he wanted to claw out someone's insides. His blood ran cold as he heard the sound of his Dad's car turn into the drive and him getting out the car.

"No," Stiles whispered, panicking, "No, no, no."

"Stiles!" He heard his Dad call as he opened the front door. Stiles jumped out of the bath and rushed to his room. He was out the window before his Dad was even at the bottom of the stairs. He jumped to the ground with more ease then he could imagine, and then set off down the street. He ran past the cat, who made a hissing noise before fleeing.

His clothes stuck to his hot skin as he ran as fast as he could. He got to the woods quickly, taking a short cut through a garden. He growled at a dog that was half way through a bark. The dog whimpered and ran off, its tail in-between its legs. Stiles felt a sweet satisfaction at the sight, but continued towards the woods as he smelt humans behind him. He jumped the fence and landed in the woods.

He suddenly felt free.

He got down on all fours and ran. He didn't know where he was going but he knew he had to run. He couldn't think anymore. His thoughts were just one long thread of single words.

Run. Jump. Tree. Squirrel. Chase. Run. River. Moon. Run. Run. Run. Ash. Fire. Leather. Derek. Fight. Fight.

Stiles turned around and growled at the wolf that had been chasing him. Derek's eyes were red but his face was human, and that annoyed Stiles as he crotched low, his claws ready and his face an ugly. How comes Derek could stay human and he was a beast?

"Go away!" Stiles shouted, his voice hoarse and different. It was unsettling.

"Stiles, calm down," Derek said, his hands up, but that just made Stiles angrier. Derek was the reason he was this way, he didn't get to tell him what to do.

So Stiles pounced at Derek, claws raised. He lashed out at the Alpha but Derek was stronger and more experienced than he was and he blocked the blows easily. Stiles kept lashing out though, throwing punch after punch. Now he had found an outlet that didn't involve skinning a cat, Stiles couldn't stop. All his anger from the last couple of weeks was going into hurting Derek.

Derek caught his fists and shoved him back, his face shifting.

"Stop!" Derek yelled, his eyes red. Stiles had seen that look before when he had scared Isaac into submission.

"No!" Stiles growled and Derek looked beyond surprised. He took a step back as Stiles took a step forward.

"You're not my Alpha, you can't control me," he growled and then raised a claw. As Derek was so surprised, Stiles managed to deal a blow to Derek's chest. His claws cut open Derek's skin and the werewolf went flying back into a tree. He hit it with a thump and then fell to the ground, his chest heaving.

Stiles was on all fours again, growling low in his throat. He watched Derek through his orange eyes. He saw Derek wince and something completely changed inside of him. He felt the wolf inside of him whimper. Before he realised what he was doing, he was saddling Derek's hips and pulling the torn t-shirt away. All he could think about was making Derek stop hurting.

So Stiles bent down to the three long gashes and started to lick the blood away. He wasn't thinking, he was just acting on instinct. He felt hands on his hips and he could feel Derek breathing.

Stiles wasn't angry anymore, he just wanted to be close to Derek. He had missed him and his smell and the taste of his skin. Stiles didn't realise he was whimpering as he licked away the blood and then kissed his way up Derek's chest and to his neck. Stiles buried his nose between Derek's shoulder and neck, nuzzling as he whimpered.

"Shh," Derek whispered, rubbing his back in smooth circles, "It's ok, I'm ok."

Stiles didn't speak as he found Derek's lips and kissed him. It was hard and passionate and desperate. It was different than any kiss they have had before. Derek let him lead the kiss and it was like he wanted to be dominated. Normally Stiles would fight for a little bit but then just gave up as Derek would always win. But Derek didn't even try this time and this turned Stiles on. This really turned Stiles on.

He ran his hands down Derek's now healed chest and to his jeans. Stiles could already feel Derek's erection against his own, their jeans in the way. Stiles felt hot, unbelievable hot, as he rubbed his palm against Derek's hard length. Derek moaned into Stiles mouth, biting his lip.

"Stiles," Derek groaned, and then pushed on Stiles' shoulder. Stiles resisted though, pushing back and kissing Derek harder. He pulled at Derek's jean button and it came loose. Stiles tagged Derek's jeans down in one quick movement until his erection spring free. He felt Derek growl, the sound rumbling both their chests. Stiles felt Derek's hands on his hips, tight and bruising. Stiles wanted to be closer. He wanted every part of them to be touching. He wanted Derek to moan his name in need.

So Stiles released his own cock and rubbed up against Derek, moaning in pleasure at the frication. He was impossibly turned on, even for the teenage boy he was. He ran his hand through Derek's hair, his other hand gripping both his and Derek's lengths as they kissed, their tongues fighting each other. Derek was panting underneath him, snapping his hips forward to meet Stiles' strokes. Pre-come was already coating Stiles' fingers, making the strokes fast and hard.

"Stiles," Derek moaned, and that is what Stiles needed. He needed that desperate plea. He needed to be stronger but he also needed Derek.

It didn't take long for either of them to come and the aftermath was slow. They kept kissing but softer now. Stiles kept whimpering every now and again but he didn't know why. He was still wolfed out, his face still angry and his claws still long. It felt more animal than anything else, but he wasn't feeling murderous anymore, just sad.

"It's ok," Derek whispered and Stiles tucked his head into his neck, closing his eyes and feeling tired. He didn't hear what Derek said as he fell asleep.

* * *

Stiles woke with a start the next morning. The first thing he noticed was that he was in dump clothes. The next thing he noticed was that he was lying in the woods and something hot was against his back. He sat up to see a half naked Derek beside him.

"Fuck," Stiles cursed, getting up and noticing that his jeans were open. He quickly did them up as Derek stirred.

"Morning," he said, his jaw clutched tightly as he looked up at Stiles. Derek's hair was messy and there was a smug of dirt on his face. Something stirred inside of Stiles at the ruffled sight of the werewolf.

"What did you do to me?" Stiles demanded.

"Nothing," Derek said, standing up, and oh my God, why does he have to have the muscles of a God?

"You did it all to me," Derek told him. Stiles felt himself blush. Focus, Stiles, you're angry at him, remember?

"Stay away from me," Stiles growled out, making to move away.

"You can't stay angry at me forever," Derek told him, which made Stiles turn back around and stalk towards him. He backed Derek into the tree, feeling taller than he was. Derek looked at him through pained eyes. It stirred something inside Stiles and he realised what it was. It was the new wolf inside of him, wanting to take the pain away. It was the wolf last night that had acted the way he had. Stiles hadn't been human last night because if he had he wouldn't have come near Derek.

"Stay the hell away from me and my house and my Dad, last night didn't happen, I wish like hell it hadn't happened because I can't stand to be near you," Stiles told him, his voice low, "I wish I had never met you."

Derek looked like he had been stabbed with a wolf bane tinted knife as Stiles said the last bit. His eyes widened just a bit and a soft sound of shock fell from his lips.

But Stiles turned and ran, not wanting his wolf to react again. The wolf did react though. It wined and howled and pulled at Stiles to turn back and see Derek, to tell him that he was wrong and kiss the pain away. Stiles ignored it and ran home, angry and dirty.

"Stiles!" His Dad exclaimed as he walked through the door. The sheriff looked frantic and tired as he rushed up to Stiles.

"Where have you been? I came home last night to the shower running and you were gone, I tried calling but your phone was broken in your room and Scott wasn't answering his phone," the sheriff said this all fast as he looked Stiles over. He wasn't hurt but he didn't look great with the dirt on his face and his wet clothes.

"I..." Stiles started, feeling guilty as he watched his Dad look at him and take in his state with worried eyes. Stiles felt tears come to his own, but he coughed them away.

"I went for a run in the woods last night, you know, to get fit for lacrosse, but I got lost when it got dark and I only found the road back to town this morning," Stiles lied.

"You were in the woods all night?" The sheriff asked. Stiles nodded.

"What happened to your phone?" His Dad asked.

"I dropped it, I'm sorry, I'll get a new one," Stiles told him. The sheriff put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed tightly.

"I'm sorry for making you worry," Stiles mumbled and his Dad must have seen the truth in this because he gave him a tired smile and wrapped him in a one armed hug.

Stiles sighed into the hug, holding on longer than his Dad probably expected. He smelt of gun powder and mum and home. It was comforting.

"Go get cleaned up son," his Dad told him before letting go. Stiles only nodded and obeyed.

* * *

"Stiles, I'm sorry!" Scott called after Stiles as he walked down the corridor. He was walking faster than necessary, wanting to get away from Scott. His eyes had flashed just seeing Scott this morning. He had to get away. His claws were stretching out, growing sharp against his palms where his fists were clutched. He started jogging down the hall as Scott called his name again. He dodged people, trying not to touch anyone, scared at what he would do as his anger grew.

"Stiles, wait up, Stiles!" Scott yelled, running after him. Stiles' jaw clutched. He didn't like people chasing him. He felt threatened. He rushed into the changing room, growling as Scott followed him in.

"Stiles!"

Stiles turned around and shoved Scott into the lockers, leaving a large dent in two of them. Stiles' claws were against Scott's throat where he pinned him against the lockers.

"Calm down, Stiles," Scott begged, his voice shaking.

"You know how it feels now," Stiles growled, shoving against Scott's chest and pacing the floor, trying to get himself to calm down.

"I was there for you when you were first bitten, the first full moon and the second and the third, and every one after that even though I was human and breakable," Stiles told him, "my first full moon and I needed you because I was losing control and my Dad was there" –don't think about Dad, you're just lost it again-"I needed you, just once, and you were too busy shagging your killer girlfriend."

"That's not fair, dude," Scott protested, stepping towards him. Stiles could smell the guilt rolling off him.

"It's totally fair!" Stiles shouted, turning to face him. Scott backed up a step and Stiles could smell the fear. It smelt sweet and it made him proud that he could cause Scott to feel that way. There had been many occasions where Scott had made him fear him, and now the tables had turned.

"I did so much for you, I missed my first lacrosse match, I nearly got myself killed multiple times for you, you tried to kill me! I got my Dad fired because of you," Stiles shook his head as the memory of his Dad's sad and disappointed eyes resurfaced, "I've been there for you the whole time, but for some reason I am not as important as someone that tried to kill you and three of our friends!"

"I forgot Stiles," Scott said, begging for Stiles to understand, "Allison texted me and you know how she is my anchor. I forgot and I am sorry, I really am sorry."

Scott had tears in his voice but when he took a step forward, a hand outstretched, Stiles backed away from the touch, looking away. His claws were gone and he looked mostly human, apart from his orange eyes. He was tired of being let down and betrayed. His voice was rough and raw as he mumbled,

"Leave me alone."

Scott was frozen on the spot, his brown eyes wide and shiny. He really was a puppy, but Stiles had no patience for that anymore. He was worn down now, rubbed away by hurt, disappointment and pain.

"Stiles," he heard Scott beg. Stiles shook his head, hating the smell of anguish pouring off Scott.

"Stay away from me!" Stiles shouted, taking a quick step towards Scott but not touching him this time. Scott whimpered and let out a quiet, broken howl, before rushing from the room, leaving the dented lockers and a shaking Stiles.


	4. Chapter 4

**5 months before the bite**

Stiles grinned up at Derek, who had one perfectly raised eyebrow and a glare that should shake Stiles' insides but it just made him laugh.

"You said it was an emergency," Derek told him, trying to make it sound menacing but it really wasn't working.

"It is! Look at me!" Stiles told him. He was currently in bed, buried in four blankets and had his thickest hoodie on, the hood up and a scarf around his neck. His nose was pink and he had gloves on where he was tapping away at his laptop.

"The heater broke and they can't fix it until tomorrow so it is freezing and I need you to warm me up with your freakish werewolf central heating."

"Really?" Derek asked, "I have better things to do than be your hot water bottle."

"No you don't," Stiles smiled at him, trying to give Derek puppy eyes. He wasn't as good as Scott or Isaac, but Derek sighed and moved Stiles' blankets away. Stiles whined in protest as the cold air hit him but relaxed as Derek climbed in beside him and their sides touched. Derek was so warm so Stiles snuggled up against him, trying to get every bit of his cold body against Derek's.

"Are you ok?" Derek asked as Stiles hissed in pain. The shot wound was still healing and he had dodged it by curling himself around Derek.

"Yeah, its fine," Stiles reassured him, shivering and pulling his hood lower over his head. He buried his face into Derek's neck, not quite believing he was able to do that now. He couldn't believe that Derek Hale was actually in his bed, allowing him to cuddle him like a teddy bear.

"You're so warm," Stiles hummed and he felt Derek chuckled, and oh my God, was Derek Hale laughing? Stiles didn't comment on it because he didn't want Derek to deny it. He wanted to keep that sound in his memory.

"I need to finish some homework, ok?" Stiles asked, after he had stopped shivering. He detached himself from Derek and pulled his laptop towards him.

"What? So I'm supposed to sit here and keep you warm while you do homework?" Derek asked, looking angry.

"You can read a book or something," Stiles told him, opening up a word document. He had to write a book review for How to Kill a Mockingbird. It shouldn't take long.

Derek huffed out a breath and then threw the blankets aside.

"Hey!" Stiles complained, the cold hitting him like daggers. He shook hard and winced as his wound moved around. Derek went to his book shelf and bent down, looking at the titles and showing off his perfect arse.

"Just pick one!" Stiles yelled, pulling the blankets closer around him. It felt a lot colder than before, but that was because Derek had been warm and snug and the bastard was taking way too long to choose a book.

Derek had that stupid smile on his face as he walked back to the bed. The smile that was mostly in the eyes and just a twitch of the mouth.

"Hurry up!" Stiles moaned. Derek moved in beside him and pulled the covers around until their sides were pressed together and the blankets were covering both of them. His hand wrapped around Stiles' waist, warm and firm. Stiles tried not to smile as he concentrated on his work. It was a comfortable silence; the only sound was Stiles shivering now and again. Every time this happened Derek squeezed at his hip and brought him closer to him until they were shoulder to shoulder and Stiles found it slightly awkward to type as his arm was trapped. He was grateful for the heat though.

An hour and a half later, Stiles saved his work and smiled at Derek. The Alpha was nearly half way through the book. He put it down to look at Stiles.

"Wanna watch a movie?" The red hoodied boy asked, pulling the scarf off. Derek just shrugged and Stiles grinned, loading up his movies folder. He loaded up Back to the Future and then lent back against the wall, and if he lent slightly into Derek, well no one said anything.

They watched the film in silence and Stiles found it surprising that he wasn't talking a million miles an hour. He normally did. Scott was used to it but other people found it annoying. He could barely go to the cinema and was kicked out twice for talking too much.

But now he was silent. He was tired and his nose was freezing, but he didn't feel the need to talk. Derek was rubbing circles on his hip and holding him close, his cheek against Stiles' head. It felt weird but nice, very nice.

Stiles started to relax and his head fell against Derek's shoulder and he yawned, subconsciously nuzzling against Derek's cheek. Derek made a soft sound in the back of his throat, like a purr, and then kissed Stiles' temple.

Stiles smiled and turned over, snuggling against Derek's chest and closing his eyes. His movements nearly dislodged his laptop but Derek caught it, moving it so it was on his lap instead. Stiles dozed off, waking slightly as the film ended and Derek carefully placed the laptop on the floor.

"You're not leaving, are you?" Stiles asked, his eyes still closed.

"No," Derek replied, lying down and wrapping an arm protectively around Stiles' shoulders. Stiles laid across Derek's chest, a hand over his steadily beating heart.

"Good, I need my sourwolf hot water bottle," he mumbled before going back to sleep.

**Present Day**

Stiles was surprised to see Lydia and Jackson on his doorstep. Lydia was holding a stack of paper and Jackson looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.

"Hi?" Stiles asked, confused. He hadn't really spoken to Lydia since the night Jackson had become a werewolf and Jackson was still his dickish self. The only time Stiles really saw them was at pack get-togethers and Lydia in Chemistry where they were lab partners.

"Hello," Lydia smiled, swiping into the house like the red headed angel she was. Even though he still recognised her beauty and awesomeness, Stiles wasn't attracted to her anymore. Having a hot Alpha to snog on demand and Lydia's super strong and looming mate had a built that out of him.

Jackson followed her in, not saying a word to Stiles.

"Ok," Stiles sighed, closing the door and following them into the living room, "come in then."

"I've been doing some research," Lydia told him, sitting down on the sofa. Jackson sat on the armchair, creepily silent.

"Ok," Stiles said, sitting down on the other side of the sofa. Lydia lent forward and put all her papers on the coffee table, spreading them out. Stiles saw pictures of werewolves and quite disturbing diagrams of...were those sex positions!?

"I know you've been angry at Derek-" Lydia started.

"I don't want to talk about Derek," Stiles sighed, leaning back against the sofa and throwing a cushion over his face.

"Tough luck," Lydia told him, pulling the cushion away, "now, I know you haven't had the...focus to do your own research so I decided to do it and I found out some interesting things."

"Ok," Stiles said, watching as Lydia turned so she was fully facing him.

"Now, did you have sex with Derek before the night he bit you?" She asked.

"What?!" Stiles asked, feeling his entire body turn bright red. Jackson was looking away and Stiles could smell his embarrassment as well.

"I don't get how that has anything to do with me getting bitten," Stiles told her, biting his thumb nail nervously.

"Trust me, it does," Lydia answered.

"Fine," Stiles mumbled, and looking down at his lap, "It was our first time when he bit me...it was my first time."

"I thought so," Lydia said and picked up a piece of paper, "I found this book that is all about pack dynamics and it said that a pack is always stronger when there are two Alphas and they have to be mates so they work together better."

Stiles nodded, listening intently. It was actually the most focused he had been this week. He could hear Jackson's heartbeat pumping steadily and he could smell Lydia's perfume, and that was what he was focusing on, along with Lydia's smooth voice.

"Well, when an Alpha founds their mate and they are also a werewolf, when they make love, the other werewolf will becomes their right hand...person, and they become an alpha as well, but when the alpha's mate is a human then it is instinct for them to bite the mate so they become a werewolf as well, as it makes the pack stronger and it lessens the risk of the human getting hurt or dying."

Stiles stared at her for a moment confused.

"But me and Derek aren't mates," he finally said, because they weren't. Derek had never said anything and they hadn't been that serious. Just a release from the terrors they had to face. Just a bit of fun. Definitely not a lifelong commitment.

Lydia rolled her eyes, pressing her lips together in frustration.

"Of course you are," she told him.

"No, we're not," Stiles told her, angry, "I would never be mates with someone like him."

"You don't get a choice," Lydia sighed, shaking her head, "You and Derek are mates and that is why he bit you."

"Well, even if he is, it doesn't make a difference," Stiles said, crossing his arms tightly against his chest.

"It actually makes a huge difference," Lydia told him, stanching a couple more papers up and looking at them.

"When Derek bit you, he turned you not just into a werewolf, but an Alpha," she told him.

"What?!" Stiles asked, leaning forward, his mouth agape.

"Well, not an Alpha like he is; you're not as strong because you've just become a werewolf and your pack is smaller, but you will become a full Alpha once you start growing it."

"My pack? I don't have a pack," Stiles said, trying to understand.

"You do," Lydia told him, "It is rare, but sometimes the two Alphas spilt and the pack has to decide who to go to so they become two separate packs."

"That won't happen here, I'm not an Alpha, the pack needs to stay with Derek," Stiles said, shaking his head and wringing his hands together.

"The pack is already spilt," Lydia told him softly, "Scott choose you as his Alpha as soon as he saw you as a werewolf."

Stiles frowned.

"But Scott hasn't spoken to me in a week."

"Because you told him to stay away," Jackson spoke for the first time, "He's been whining like a little bitch since."

"What? No," Stiles said, standing up, "I can't be an Alpha," he said, pacing the floor.

"Well, we actually came here for another reason than to just fill you in on all of this," Lydia said and then nodded towards Jackson. Stiles watched him sigh and then stand up, facing Stiles.

"I want to join your pack," Jackson said and he actually sounded genuine. Stiles looked at him, eyes wide and mouth open. Despite the ridiculous situation, Stiles did feel an odd siege of power.

"No," Stiles told him a moment later shaking, his head. He was angry now.

"No, Derek is your Alpha."

Jackson sighed.

"Derek works us too hard and he didn't care about me when he first bit me and I started killing people."

"He didn't know you were the Kanima," Stiles said, "and he feels really bad about that, you know he does, he has been working hard for six months to improve the pack and build a relationship with everyone, he looks at you like you're his little brother and he works you hard so you are ready if something bad happens again, I'm not going to let you ruin that just because you don't like doing drills."

"What about you? The pack doesn't work as well without you," Jackson told him, throwing his arms up at the rant.

"I need to work through my shit, I know I do, but I need a break from the pack for now," Stiles said, "Derek is a good Alpha and I wouldn't be so just stay with him."

"With about Scott?" Lydia asked.

"I'm still angry at Scott so I'm not talking to him, but I can't be his Alpha either," Stiles sighed, rubbing his head, "You tell him to stick with Derek and keep going to his training sessions."

Jackson nodded and then made to leave. He kissed Lydia on the way out and nodded at Stiles. Stiles had a weird feeling in his stomach but ignored it as Lydia smiled at him.

"Come on, I'll help you with your homework, I'll make sure you don't get distracted."

Stiles smiled back and nodded. He knew Lydia would kick his arse if he lost focus.

**4 Months before the bite**

"Holy shit!" Stiles gasped, surrounding off his chair, hitting the floor and backing away from the wolf that had just leaped through his window. His back hit the wall as the wolf growled at him, its red eyes gleaming in the light of Stiles' desk lamp.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Stiles chanted closing his eyes as the wolf came closer. The growling stopped and Stiles felt something wet against his cheek.

"Of my God," Stiles grimaced, shaking with fear. The wolf started to whimper and Stiles opened his eyes in surprise. The wolf had its nose against his face and was making sad noises, nuzzling Stiles' face slightly. Stiles felt frozen as he looked at the wolf, which had dark fur and a curly, puffy tail like a husky. Its snout was short and it was quite small. Well, quite small compared to the last wolf Stiles saw which had been big and ugly and scary. This wolf was bigger than the wolves he had seen on the discovery channel though, but now that Stiles was properly looking at it, it didn't look scary, just sad.

"Derek?" Stiles asked and the wolf nudged his chin with its nose. It whined and locked eyes with Stiles. The red eyes weren't as violent as Peter's had been. They were softer, less frightening. Stiles ran his hands through the wolf's fur and it was soft like Derek's hair.

"Derek," Stiles gasped it surprise, realisation coming over him. Derek whimpered again and nuzzled his head underneath Stiles' chin.

"What's happened?" Stiles asked, his hand in Derek's fur. He had never seen Derek completely wolfed out and, as far as he was aware, neither had anyone else.

Derek was pretty much covering his entire lap, spread out over his legs. He had his head completely under Stiles' chin and was whimpering softly.

"Hey," Stiles whispered, his heart feeling sore listening to Derek's cries, "Hey, it's ok, everything's ok."

He stroked along Derek's back, amazed at how soft it was. He noticed there were some leaves and sticks in his fur and Stiles chuckled, imagining Derek rolling around in the woods. He picked the loose bits out as Derek relaxed on his lap. He was heavy and warm but it was comfortable, despite Stiles being pinned against the wall. He stroked Derek's fur, worried as the werewolf's whimpering continued.

"What's wrong, Derek?" He asked, running a hand over Derek's head. Derek just nuzzled closer to Stiles, and a long whine vibrating both of them. Stiles nearly choked on the tears that collected in his throat just from the sound.

"It's ok," he whispered, his hands buried in the dark fur and his cheek against Derek's head.

They sat like that for a long while in the dark. Derek finally quietened down and was asleep, breathing heavily. Stiles was dozing off himself when his phone went off, waking both of them. Derek started to growl low in his throat, looking around for any threat.

"Shh, it's only Scott," Stiles told him, pulling his phone out of his pocket and answering it.

"What's up man?" Stiles asked, stroking a hand down Derek's back, who was still growling, but softer now, like he didn't have the real energy for it.

"Have you seen Derek?" Scott asked, sounding like he was freaking out.

"Yeah, he's here," Stiles told him.

"What!? Ok, get out of there, I'm on my way over, just stay calm," Scott said, fast and frantic.

"Stop, stop," Stiles said, "It's fine, he isn't doing anything."

"Really?" Scott asked, sounding doubtful.

"He is just lying here," Stiles told him, his fist stopping in Derek's fur as he frowned, "What happened?"

"We were all at the warehouse so we could wait through the full moon together. Derek had been hiding all day in the train and Isaac went to check on him and he just went crazy," Scott just explained, "He was nearly fully wolfed out and he hurt Boyd and Isaac before he ran out."

"Well, he's fine now," Stiles told him as Derek nudged his head up to get his attention. Stiles started stroking him again and Derek settled back down, not growling anymore.

"Are you sure? I think I should come over," Scott told him, clearly worried.

"Its fine, he's asleep," Stiles reassured him, "It's probably best if you don't come over if he reacted that way to you and the betas."

"Why won't he hurt you then?" Scott asked.

"I'm less of a threat, he has no need to hurt me because I can't hurt him," Stiles answered.

"Are you sure?" Scott asked.

"Yes," Stiles sighed, "Make sure Isaac and Boyd are ok, I'll call if there is a problem."

"Ok," Scott said and Stiles hung up. Derek turned his head up and Stiles looked at the sad puppy eyes.

"Come on, I can't sleep on the floor," Stiles told him, stroking his face. He hoped Derek wouldn't kill him in the morning for petting him like a dog. He wasn't trying to tear out his throat now so maybe Stiles would be ok.

He went to stand up but Derek growled, putting his head on Stiles' chest so he couldn't stand up.

"Hey, stop that, I'm not getting a sore arse because you're being a sour wolf," Stiles grumbled, shoving Derek aside and standing up. The wolf whimpered again, whining high and long.

"Stop it," Stiles told him, "You're breaking my heart."

He pulled his trousers off, feeling self-conscious as he stood briefly in his briefs before pulling his pj bottoms on.

"Come on, get in," Stiles said, climbing into the bed and holding the sheets up. Derek jumped into the bed straight away and curled up into a circle beside Stiles, his face buried in Stiles' stomach. Stiles put his hand on Derek's fur and smiled as Derek nudged his nose against his belly.

"You're so adorable, you know that right, sour wolf?" Stiles told him, chuckling. Derek let out a soft growl but there was no convention behind it. Stiles just laughed and put his face against Derek's fur, breathing in the smell of wood, leaves and ash. Stiles frowned. Derek always smelt of ash faintly, but tonight it was very strong. He had obviously been at his old house tonight. Derek whimpered again, sensing Stiles' mood change. Stiles rubbed his fur and mumbled.

"It's ok, just go to sleep."

He felt Derek slowly relax beside him, warm and comfortable.

* * *

Stiles woke up before Derek the next morning, a first since they started doing...whatever they were doing. Normally Derek was awake and staring at him in a creeper way that only he would get away with. Not that Stiles minded, but it was nice to see Derek looking so peaceful. The weight of the world was gone from his shoulders and his face was smooth and innocent looking where it was still buried in Stiles' stomach. He was human now, and their legs were tangled together with Derek's arm around Stiles' waist, his nose nuzzling against Stiles' stomach. Stiles' chuckled as it tickled, and that seemed to wake Derek.

The Alpha slowly woke and the weight came back, making his shoulders tense and his expression hard. His arms stayed around Stiles' waist but he drew his face back, his sour wolf expression back. He looked away from Stiles, his cheeks tainted just the faintest pink. It was then Stiles realised that Derek was completely naked. Stiles cleared his throat and looked over Derek's head to the wall. He knew Derek could smell his embarrassment and that made Stiles feel guilty.

"Do you want some breakfast?" Stiles asked. Derek nodded so Stiles detached himself from the werewolf, careful not to touch him too much.

"If you look through my draws, there will be some sweats and a t-shirt you can borrow," Stiles told him, before fleeing the bedroom. Stiles didn't have to be a werewolf to smell Derek's embarrassment.

Downstairs Stiles put on the bacon and waffles and scrambled eggs. He was humming alone to Fun. when Derek came into the kitchen with a too tight t-shirt and sweatpants that showed a bit too much. Stiles allowed his eyes to wonder slightly over firm muscle and tight fabric. Derek said something and Stiles didn't hear. He looked up at Derek's green-hazel-God-damn-it, what colour were his eyes?

"What?" Stiles asked, sounding like an idiot.

"What happened?" Derek asked.

"Ah," Stiles said, putting the food onto a plate and handing it to Derek. They sat down at the table and Stiles looked at Derek, who was looking at the food intently.

"You turned up last night as a fully formed wolf," Stiles told him, "with fur and everything."

Derek closed his eyes briefly and sighed, his shoulders looking heavy.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked.

"Of course you didn't," Stiles answered, "but you managed to get a blow in with Isaac and Boyd, but Scott texted me and said they're fine and all healed up now."

Derek clutched his fist, bending the fork he was holding slightly.

"Hey," Stiles said, forging anger, "It's fine, they're ok, they probably got in the way somehow."

He then stuffed his face with waffles and watched Derek pick at his food. They sat in silence for a while. Stiles knew he needed it. He could see Derek thinking as he slowly chewed bacon and eggs.

Finally the silence was broke as Derek said,

"It was the anniversary of the fire yesterday."

Oh, as all Stiles would think. That painful anniversary and the full moon together. No wonder Derek had lost control like that. That...that was unbelievable. Stiles could feel his heart breaking just from the thought of it.

"It's happened once before," Derek said, his voice low and his face staring at his plate, "The anniversary and the full moon occurring together, I lost complete control and spent two days tearing up this woods we use to go to near New York, nothing Laura did made it any better. I thought I would be better this time, but obviously not."

"You weren't that bad once you had calmed down," Stiles told him, reaching out and putting his hand on Derek's leg. Derek looked into Stiles' eyes and Stiles smiled sadly at him, seeing the grief in the Alpha's own eyes.

"You just came here and slept."

"I didn't do anything?" Derek asked, clearly dreading the answer to be yes. Afraid he had hurt Stiles.

"No," Stiles told him, "You were cute and fluffy."

Derek glared at him.

"I'm not cute," he snarled, half-heartedly. Stiles laughed, withdrawing his hand and starting to eat his food again.

"Yes you are, did you know you have a curly tail? It is adorable."

"Yeah, I got it from my mum," Derek replied, stabbing at his eggs.

"Wasn't your mum a human?" Stiles asked, something he had heard in passing and not something Derek had told him directly. Derek never spoke of his family.

"Yeah, but she had curly hair and she passed that onto my wolf, my little sister Nicole had a curly tail as well," Derek told him, his voice quiet and his eyes looking at his plate.

"Oh," Stiles said, "I though only Alphas turned into a full wolf?"

Derek shook his head.

"When you're born a werewolf you turn into a full wolf every full moon until adolescence, but when you're a child you don't have all the hate in your heart so we were really just pups," Derek told him and Stiles nearly died just imagining how cute that was.

"My older cousins used to make fun of our tails so I used to hate mine, but I'm glad I still have it. I was worried that I might have outgrown it. It's part of my Mum and sister so I'm happy I still have it," Derek was nearly whispering now, his voice gruff.

They sat in silence for a long moment. Stiles could tell he was very upset and he knew that anything he said probably wouldn't help. He knew the pain of losing one person he loved with all his heart, but he didn't know the pain of losing everyone.

"Do you want to go see them?" Stiles asked. Derek didn't reply for a long time and Stiles was about to stand up to wash the plates when Derek nodded.

Stiles drove him to the warehouse to get changed. It was empty, with Isaac around Scott's and Erica and Boyd off somewhere together like they normally were nowadays. Derek was quick and came out clean and wearing his leather jacket which looked heavy on him today.

Stiles stopped at the local florist, who had been a friend of his mother's so she always gave him a discount.

"Off you see your mum?" The woman, Alice, asked when she saw him. That was the only reason he ever came to the shop, he thought sadly. He really needed to get a love life. He looked briefly at Derek, who was sitting in his jeep, looking menacing. Stiles wondered how he would react to receiving flowers. Not well, Stiles imagined.

"No actually, I'm going to visit the Hale family," Stiles told her. By the look on the florist's face, his Dad was definitely going to hear about this.

"They don't get a lot of visitors, so I thought I'll go and pay my respects," Stiles tried to explain. She just raised her eyebrow, a grin that was too knowing to be good on her face.

"Ok, I'll do you a bunch of white roses then."

"Thanks," Stiles smiled, sitting on her counter as she prepared them.

"So, Derek Hale?" She asked and Stiles didn't blush. Didn't blush at all. Nope.

"We're not...it's not like that," Stiles told her.

"Ok," She grinned, "well, I won't tell your Dad that I've seen you with him because I don't think he'll approve."

"Thanks," Stiles sighed, relieved.

"But," she said, handing the bunch of roses to him, "be careful."

Stiles nodded and gave her the money.

"Oh, and say hi to your mum for me."

"Well do Alice," Stiles smiled, before leaving the shop.

Derek was still silent and looking murderous in the passenger seat but Stiles understood so just handed him the roses and drove to the graveyard.

Stiles turned off the car and drummed his fingers against the stirring wheel. Derek didn't move and Stiles got the sense he wanted to be on his own, so he grabbed the roses and left the car, stepping into the graveyard.

The Hale family took up a whole corner of the cemetery. Eleven graves in total, Laura one of them. Stiles wondered when Derek buried Laura. He felt guilty now for digging up Laura. It was cruel and wrong. All Derek wanted was to respect his sister and bury what remains he had. Stiles and Scott had stupidly dug that up.

Stiles noticed that there were weeds growing through Laura's grave so he bent down and pulled them out, tiding the grave up. He came every two weeks to do the same for his mum's.

Derek came over a couple of minutes later, just as Stiles was de-weeding Nicole's grave. Stiles' eyes had started to moist over when he realised that Derek's little sister had been five years old. A baby really. A tiny little child that Kate Argent had killed just because she was a werewolf. He wanted to throw up but he resisted that urge as Derek walked up to him and the graves. Stiles handed him a white rose which the Alpha laid down on Laura's grave.

"When did you bury Laura?" Stiles asked, pulling out a large bundle of dandelions.

"Right after I was realised from prison," Derek told him, playing with the rose in his hand, twirling it around in his fingers, "It was your father actually that told me that she needed a proper burial, next to our family," Derek told him, settling the flower down on Nicole's grave and stroking a hand over the clean stone. There was a moment of silence before Derek said,

"She loved Disney Princesses, especially Pocahontas, so I and Laura were saving up to take her to Disney Land. Our parents told us that they would pay, but we wanted to do it."

He knelt down beside the grave next to Nicola's. It read Maxwell Hale. Derek started to pull out the weeds around the grave as he continued to speak.

"Max was my little brother and had just started become a werewolf, I took him out for his first run just before the fire, he had been so excited."

Derek went silent after that, picking the unwanted plants out. They continued the work, mostly in silence but now and again Derek would tell him a memory. Stiles would listen, handing him a rose until every grave had a flower. One sister, one brother, mother, father, two cousins, an aunt and uncle, and his grandmother and grandfather. Derek had lost them all, leaving just a comatose uncle and a sister who was murdered six years later. Stiles had to clutch his jaw tightly together to stop the tears in the back of his throat escaping. Derek stood in front of his grandfather's grave, running a hand over the stone. John Hale.

"He was a great Alpha," Derek mumbled, "my hero."

"I bet he is really proud of you," Stiles told him, standing just behind him. Stiles wanted to reach out and squeeze his shoulders, but he didn't know how Derek would react so just kept his hands at his sides. Derek didn't say anything, but moved over to a grave that read James Hale. 22 years old and Derek's oldest cousin.

"James was going to be the Alpha," he said, his voice breaking, "he was going to be amazing, I was never meant to be an Alpha."

"You're doing great, Derek," Stiles told him. Derek shook his head, his hand clutching the top of the grave stone.

"No, I'm not, James was training to be the Alpha, I am nothing like he was going to be."

"Stop comparing yourself," Stiles told his, his tone soft, "for someone that knew nothing about being an Alpha, you're doing a fantastic job, the betas respect and care about you and your pack is strong, there were a few hiccups but all your betas are teenagers, so blame their hormonal, under-developed brains."

A small, broken chuckle escaped Derek's mouth and he rubbed at his face.

"I miss them," he whispered.

"I know," Stiles mumbled back.

They were silent after that. Stiles knew that his was the most vulnerable Derek had ever let anyone see him at. Stiles wondered why Derek was allowing him to see him like this and no one else. He didn't question it aloud though.

After ten minutes of silence, Stiles left Derek and wondered towards his mum's grave. He knew Derek probably wanted some time on his own and Stiles felt weird if he went to the grave yard without seeing his mum. He de-weeded the grave before sitting down in front of the grave stone and smiling at the polished stone. The words 'Jane Stilinski' shone back at him.

"Hey, Mum, sorry I didn't bring any flowers," he said and then began to talk. He always spoke to his mum when he visited her. When she was still alive she was the only one who could stand listening to Stiles as he rambled. Everyone else eventually told him to shut up, even his Dad and Scott. But his Mum would just smiled at him and let him go on and on. Stiles missed her smile but he knew she was still listening somewhere. He knew that sounded lame and clique but he knew it was true. He spoke to her about everything. School, Dad, his jeep, his ADHD, his life. She knew all about the werewolves and Kanima and everything that had happened in the last year. To be honest that was the only way Stiles could even began to cope with not telling his dad, because he had told his Mum.

A little while later he saw Derek slowly walking towards him, his shoulders hitched forward and his face bowed. Stiles stood up and then bent down to kiss the top of the stone.

"I'll see you soon, Mum," Stiles told her, "and I'll bring flowers this time."

He straightened up, Derek beside him now. Stiles slipped his hand into his and smiled at him softly. Derek looked surprised at the smile, but his eyes softened as he squeezed Stiles' hand gently.

"Come on," Stiles said, pulling him towards the car and away from the graves, "I'll make you some lunch."

Derek didn't say a word but allowed himself to be lead.


	5. Chapter 5

**Present Day**

Stiles walked through the abandoned warehouse, everything sounding way too loud in the empty space. It said something about the American economy that Stiles found it really easy to find this unused warehouse.

The handcuffs in his hands jingled together as he tried to find a suitable place. They sounded more cheery than they should. There were metal frames everywhere, holding floors and the structure together, so it wasn't hard to find four together, under a set of stairs.

It was the full moon and he wasn't relying on Scott again, and definitely didn't want to run into Derek again, so Stiles had come with a plan. He had four sets of handcuffs and he handcuffed both his legs to two separate poles, before settling back against the back of the steps and attaching his left arm to the metal frame going up the steps. The next bit was going to be tricky. He flicked his wrist against the other side of the frame to try and get the handcuff to jump round and click into place. It took a couple of tries, but it finally connected. Stiles sighed in relief and pushed the metal against the frame to tighten it. It was cold against his skin, and he shivered slightly.

He hoped this was going to work. He didn't want to hurt anyone, and he didn't want to end up having sex with Derek again.

No, the stupid wolf can just stay inside him tonight. He can keep control. He can. He must.

The last month had been hard and he knew that this was going to be even harder. He hadn't spoken to Scott at all and Scott had kept away from him. Stiles had seen him from afar though, looking at him with those stupid brown puppy eyes of his.

Derek had also disappeared but not completely. Stiles heard him outside the house every night. He never said or did anything. Just sat in his car or stood under a tree, watching the house like the creeper he was. Stiles told him as much, but he never bothered to go out there and tell him to fuck off properly. The truth was he couldn't sleep without hearing Derek's heartbeat now. It was a fact that Stiles loathed, but a fact nonetheless.

Stiles sighed again, leaning his head against the steps and trying to relax. It was going to be a long night so he might as well try and get comfortable.

A couple of hours later and Stiles was screaming and pulling against the handcuffs. He was in a lot of pain, his wrists and ankles bleeding from rubbing against the restraints and his back was sore from being in the same position for so long. His head felt like it was going to explode and he needed to get out now.

He needed the forest. He needed pack. Family. He needed Derek.

He howled long and loud, calling for someone. Anyone. Help. Help.

He heard someone howl back. Not Derek, but someone else. Someone in his pack. Stiles howled again, a whine in the back of his throat. He threw himself forward, trying to get out. Trying to get free.

He smelt fur then. Fur and sweat and perfume. He howled, quieter this time. He called for his pack who had found him.

There were four of them, all wolfed out, their eyes golden in the moonlight coming through the broken ceiling.

Stiles cried when he saw them.

"Help me," he whimpered, pulling at the cuffs, "get me out of those."

Erica stepped forward, a whimper in her own throat as she crutched down next to him and put a hand on his leg. She was wolfed out but she wasn't angry or vicious. Her eyes were moist and she looked like she was in pain. Stiles wanted to reach out and comfort her. His pup shouldn't look like that.

And his other pups. They all looked scared and sad. He cried out to them and they all came to him but one. Erica fitted in next to him, her head on his shoulder and her hand still on his leg. Boyd was next to Erica, a hand on Stiles' arm, stopping him pulling it against the cuffs. Isaac crept in his other side, licking the cuts on Stiles' wrist. The pain reduced slightly and Stiles tilted his head so it was resting against Isaac's. It was comforting. He had never been close to Isaac, or Erica or Boyd, but this felt right and natural.

But Scott was hiding back in the shadows, looking nervous and close to tears. But Scott had to near him. Scott was his brother and family, so he needed Scott.

"Scott," he whimpered, looking at his brother. Scott whined at the sound of Stiles' voice, sounding more animal than anything. Scott came over and laid along his side, pinning his legs to he couldn't pull at his ankles.

All Stiles could hear were his pups crying around him. He shushed them, wanting to touch all of them. Comfort them.

He couldn't though and he knew that it was because if they untied him he may lose control. Instead he nuzzled against Isaac's head and relaxed his body against Erica's.

The crying quietened down and Stiles close his eyes, counting the heartbeats in his head. It was calm and comforting for a long time. It felt natural but Stiles knew something was missing.

Derek.

As soon as Stiles thought of Derek, the wolf in him howled. It was sudden and full of pain, and made all of the betas jump. The howl consisted of one word. Stiles was calling for Derek without even realising.

"Shhh," Erica whispered against his ear as Boyd rubbed up and down his arm. Isaac turned his head so he was nuzzling against Stiles' neck and Scott rubbed his legs, whimpering in the back of his throat.

"Derek, Derek," Stiles cried, fighting against the chains again as the wolf in him screamed to be let free so he could be with the Alpha.

The betas were touching and comforting him and they managed to still him, but Stiles still cried himself to sleep, exhausted from the pain and the fight.

* * *

Stiles was lying down when he woke up, the handcuffs gone. He was curled round Erica, with Boyd's arm around them both and Isaac nestled up against his back. Scott was gone and that made Stiles feel sad. He could also smell Jackson, but he was nowhere in sight. Stiles watched Erica and Boyd sleep for a little while, trying to decide how this had become his life. He didn't even feel embarrassed about being this close and intimate with these three people. It didn't feel sexual or wrong in anyway. It felt natural. Comforting. Right. He felt happy and a sense of pride as he watched Erica's hair get in her face, making her scrunch up her nose, and Boyd snore slightly. He heard Isaac make a small sound in his sleep and nuzzle his nose further into Stiles' back. Stiles smiled.

Pups.

He had thought it last night as if it was the most natural thought in the world. These three people, even though two of them were older than him, were his pups. They were pack, even if he didn't want a pack, they were his and he had no choice.

He didn't want to separate them from Derek. It would kill him. He had made this pack because he desperately wanted a family. He had tried so hard to protect and care for them, and Stiles knew that they were also Derek's pups. His children and his brothers and sisters all at once. He needed them more than Stiles did.

So Stiles carefully detached himself from the three werewolves and crept out, trying not to look back.

As he got out of the warehouse, Isaac caught up with him, grabbing his wrist.

"Where are you going?" He asked, fear in his tone.

"Home," Stiles told him, looking at the ground, "I need to have a shower...thanks...for looking after me last night."

"We can come with you...grab some breakfast or something," Isaac suggested, sounding hopeful. Stiles looked into his eyes. He wanted to say yes but they would take that as an invitation. He can't have the pack. Derek needed them.

"No thanks," Stiles told him, pulling his wrist from Isaac's grip gently, "Go to Derek, he probably has some training for you or something."

Stiles then turned away, walking towards his jeep so he could get away from the smell of Isaac's hurt.

"He cried," Isaac said suddenly. Stiles stopped, listening to something he probably didn't want to hear.

"The night it happened, he came home and locked himself away, and he cried all night. I don't think he knew I was there. I smelt the blood so I went to yours and I could tell what had happened. I thought he had killed you because of the way he reacted; I had never heard him cry before."

Stiles bit his lip before continuing to his jeep, despite every protest his wolf was making to turn back and hug Isaac, or run. Run to Derek and kiss the pain away.

Stiles ignored every instinct he had though. The instinct of pack. The instinct of family. The instinct of Derek.

He ignored them all and got into his jeep and drove away.

* * *

When he got home he found his Dad asleep on the sofa, the TV remote in his hand and the TV blurring. Stiles sighed, slipping off his shoes and walking into the living room and turning off the TV. He sat down next to his Dad, his shoulders slouching with exhaustion. He felt so tired. He could hear his Dad's heart, which was getting better now. It was hypnotising and Stiles felt his eyes start to close. He laid down on the sofa, his head resting on his Dad's knee. He went to sleep counting heartbeats.

He woke up a couple of hours later to a change in the atmosphere. His Dad was awake now, his hand stroking over Stiles' short hair. Stiles could smell his Dad's worry.

"You ok?" The Sheriff asked once he realised Stiles was awake. Stiles sat up, stretching his tight muscles. He sat back and stared at the wall ahead of him.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

"Do you have a headache again?" The Sheriff asked.

Stiles thought about the wolf inside of him, yelling at him and crying, begging.

"Yes," Stiles said, and then sighed, rubbing his temple, "I'm fine though."

"I think we should book you a doctor's appointment," his dad told him and Stiles could smell the concern rolling off him.

"It's fine, there's nothing wrong," Stiles tried to reassure him. His Dad turned to him and Stiles looked at him, his heart sinking at the fear in his Dad's eyes.

"You don't know that Stiles," his Dad said, his voice close to shaking, "You know what the Doctor said when your Mum died, if we catch this early then there is a better chance of-"

"Dad," Stiles said, putting a hand on his leg to calm him, "Dad, I'm fine."

"Stiles," his Dad said, covering Stiles' hand with his own, "When your mother got sick it started off the same way, with the headaches and being tired all the time," he said, his heartbeat racing, "we need to see the doctor to see if you're sick as well."

"Dad," Stiles said, his throat closing up with the tears forming, "I know what's wrong with me and it has nothing to do with what mum had, so stop worrying, please."

"Then what's wrong?" His Dad asked, looking older than he should. Stiles sighed and rubbed his eyes, trying not to scream in frustration. He had to tell his Dad. He didn't want his Dad to worry about him dying the same way his Mum had.

"You're not going to believe me if I told you," Stiles said, leaning his head back against the sofa. The Sheriff crossed his arms and looked at him.

"Try me," he said.

"Just...promise me you won't freak out," Stiles asked, looking at him.

"I'm not promising anything," his Dad told him. Stiles winced, before turning to look at him again.

"You know all the weird attacks that have happened over the last year?" Stiles asked. The Sheriff nodded, looking like he didn't like where this was going.

"Well, I kinda know how they all happened," Stiles told him, "And by kinda, I mean I know exactly how they happened and I was there for a few of them, but you already know that...but what I mean is I know who did them, and it wasn't me before you start worrying and I know you know that I was connected somehow, with me stealing the police van and me being there when Matt attacked the station, and my jeep being there when that guy was killed, and all the-"

"Stiles," his Dad stopped his rant as his voice got higher and more hysterical. Stiles took a deep breath and started again.

"You know that night when Laura Hale was murdered and you found me in the woods?"

The Sheriff nodded so Stiles continued.

"Well, Scott was with me and after we left he was attacked."

"Attacked!" The Sheriff exclaimed, looking shocked and angry.

"He was ok," Stiles reassured him, "He...he was bitten...by a...a werewolf."

His Dad looked at him for a moment, mouth agape and his eyes wide.

"A werewolf?" He asked. Stiles put his head in his hands.

"I know how stupid it sounds but its true," he said, knowing how ridiculous this all was.

"So was it Scott?" His dad asked.

"What!? No!" Stiles said, looking at him again, "No, of course not."

"Werewolf?!" The Sheriff asked again. Stiles sighed, nervous laughter escaping his mouth. He coughed to clear his throat and nodded.

"The Halle family were werewolves," Stiles explained, "Peter went crazy last year and killed everyone that was involved in the arson attack on their house and bit Scott so he became a werewolf."

"So Derek...?"

Stiles nodded.

"He is a werewolf but he isn't violent or anything like Peter was."

"Ok, ok," The Sheriff said, putting his hands up, "Start from the beginning."

Stiles nodded and did. He told his dad everything. Everything that had happened in the past year and a half. Werewolves, Kanimas, hunters. He told his dad about Gerald and being shot by the other hunters and the other werewolves.

He went quiet just as he got to the part where he was bitten.

"What are you leaving out?" His dad asked, and Stiles looked up at him, the tears coming back to his eyes. His Dad has listened to everything he had said, not saying anything but his hand, which was on Stiles' leg, tightened his grip when Stiles had spoken about Gerald and the other injuries he had got, especially when he said about the gunshot.

"You believe me?" Stiles asked. The Sheriff rubbed the back of his head and took a deep breath.

"You've never been a good lair Stiles," he told him, "Every lie you've told the last year and half I've seen through and it's broken my heart to see you lie so easily."

"It hasn't been easy," Stiles told him, his voice thick with tears.

"I can see that now," the Sheriff said, rubbing Stiles' arm up and down, "I can see that everything you just told me was the truth, even though it is beyond crazy, and I understand why you felt you couldn't tell me."

Stiles felt a tear roll down his cheek and he wiped it away.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok, son," the Sheriff told him, putting a hand on his cheek and looking at him eye to eye, "but you need to tell the rest of it."

Stiles closed his eyes and bit his lip.

"I'm a werewolf as well," he said. He felt his Dad freeze and his heartbeat picked up.

"Did you asked for it?" He asked. Stiles didn't answer and his Dad's hand tightened on Stiles' arm.

"I'm going to kill him," the Sheriff hissed and Stiles shook his head, looking up at his Dad.

"It was an accident, Derek didn't mean to bite me," Stiles told him.

"How was it an accident? You just said that they are all in control," his dad asked.

"It's complicated," Stiles told him, sighing and rubbing the back of his head, "we...we were kinda...seeing each other."

His Dad was silent for a while and Stiles couldn't look at him. They never had the 'gay talk' so he didn't know how his dad was going to react. He just outed himself as a werewolf and gay in less than a minute. He would freak out so he wasn't expecting anything less from his Dad.

"Lydia said that he did it because he needs another Alpha or something and it was just instinct," Stiles told him.

"Show me," the Sheriff asked, his voice quiet and hiding emotions. Stiles could smell that he was nervous and slightly angry, but he didn't smell disappointed or disgusted and that calmed Stiles a bit.

"I can't control it properly yet, but I can show you my eyes."

His dad nodded and Stiles bit his lip again, worrying it. He was scared now. Maybe his dad didn't believe him yet but he would when he saw Stiles' eyes. He didn't want his Dad to see him like that but he also didn't want to hide anything from him anymore.

Stiles shut his eyes and concentrated. It was hard to shift naturally at the moment but he could feel his eyes changing. He opened them and looked at his Dad, who gasped. He didn't smell angry. He smelt...proud.

Stiles blinked and his eyes were back to normal.

"Your mother's favourite colour was orange," his Dad said and Stiles chocked out a laugh in surprise. Tears ran down his cheeks slowly as he took in his dad's acceptance. His Dad smiled at him before pulling him in for a hug. Stiles buried his face into his Dad's chest, fisting his hands into the sheriff's shirt as the tears increased and his whole body shook with sobs. The sheriff rubbed his back, rocking him slightly.

"Hey, hey," his dad smoothed him, "Why are you so upset?"

"I'm sorry," Stiles cried, "I'm sorry I lied and I'm sorry I stole from the station and got you fired and I'm sort I'm a freakish werewolf now."

"Hey!" His Dad said, tilting Sties' chin so they were looking at each other. The Sheriff had a frown on his face as he looked at his son.

"I love you Stiles, no matter what lies you've told or whither you're a werewolf or not, nothing is ever going to change that," he told him, "and after everything you've just told me, I couldn't be more proud of you, all the monsters you've faced and the people you've saved, it's amazing Stiles."

Stiles wiped at his eyes as his Dad gripped his shoulder.

"You're amazing."

Stiles huffed out a laugh, shaking his head.

"Yes, you are," the Sheriff insisted, giving Stiles a small shake and then smiling at him.

"Now, do I need to put a bullet in Derek Hale's arse?" The Sheriff asked, a very serious tone coming over him.

"No," Stiles replied, "I'm not talking to him anymore and we're not seeing each other so you don't need to worry about him."

"You sure?" His Dad asked, "I'll enjoy shooting him for hurting my son and it won't kill him so it's fine."

Stiles laughed, watery and sad, but his Dad smiled at him, his eyes shiny.

"No more secrets, ok?" He asked, "No matter how crazy."

"I promise," Stiles told him and his Dad nodded.

"Ok, now go and get cleaned up and we'll go grab some lunch."

Stiles stood up, rubbing his face again and taking a deep breath.

"Thanks Dad," he said, quietly and with his voice croaked. The Sheriff just nodded and Stiles could smell the pride and happiness that was coming off him. This made Stiles smile and it felt like some of the weight he was carrying was lifted.

* * *

The next day Stiles skipped school. He always did this day every year.

He went to the florist, where Alice was waiting with a banquet of lilies. She gave Stiles a sad smile but he left without saying a word. It was raining hard as he drove across the town and to the graveyard. The ground was wet and the marble of the new graves was shiny. Stiles walked across the graveyard until he got to his mum's.

"Hey mum," he mumbled before setting the flowers down and then sitting down himself, crossed legged and staring at the cold stone.

The rain poured down on his face but he didn't notice. For the first time since he was bitten the world was silent.

All he could feel was this numbness as he thought of his mum. He thought of his mum all of the time. Her smile, her laugh, her brown eyes which he saw every time he looked into the mirror. Her understanding and her love. Everyday Stiles thought about her.

But today, no matter how much he tried, all he could think about was how the sickness had consumed her, making her thin and hallow, her eyes grey and stricken, her smiled tired and broken. He remembered her crying when she thought he wasn't around and the way his father had broken down at her funeral, and then later when the doctor told that that Stiles had inherited the gene which carried the illness.

Today Stiles' mind was dark and lonely.

He barely registered Derek sit down beside him, close enough that Stiles could feel his body heat but so they weren't touching.

"Your Dad came to see me," the Alpha said, his tone soft.

"I had to tell him, I couldn't lie anymore," Stiles told him, his tone blank and void of emotion. Derek flinched beside him but Stiles didn't notice. He just watched as the rain drops slid down his mum's headstone.

"I understand," Derek told him and then there was a long pause before Derek said, "He threatened to put a hole in my arse if I ever hurt you again."

By the way he said it, Stiles knew that Derek expected him to find it amusing, and Stiles normally would have, but today he felt nothing.

So he said nothing and Derek went silent.

They hadn't been this close in ages. Stiles could feel his wolf crying inside of him, needing to be nearer. Stiles let him have his own way and leant against Derek ever so slightly. He felt Derek tense for a split second before relaxing again but not moving into the touch. He didn't want to scare Stiles off.

Derek was warm, something Stiles hadn't felt in a while. The wolf quietened slightly, calming down for the first time in way over a month.

"Dad thought I was dying," Stiles said, so quiet that the only way Derek heard him was because he was a werewolf.

"Why?" Derek asked, confused. Stiles swallowed the lump forming in his throat away and answered.

"I had a fifty/fifty chance of inheriting my mum's illness."

Derek froze and Stiles heard his heartbeat pick up.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yeah, so when I started skipping school with headaches my dad thought I was dying and I couldn't stand to have him think I was going to get ill, die and leave him like Mum did, so I had to tell him," he choked on the last bit, remembering his Dad's face last night.

"I was there when she died," Stiles continued, biting his lip as he felt the need to tell someone this. He hadn't told anyone this. Not Scott. Not even his Dad. No one. But he felt the need to tell Derek.

"I was in her hospital room and it was just me and her, dad was at work, and I was talking to her and I just stopped talking for a moment and she looked at me and smiled," Stiles said, his voice sounding like he was in a trance. He tried to remember that smile but it was hard sometimes, "she told me that she loved me and then she started shaking and her eyes rolled back into her head and all the machines she was hooked up to started going off. I was scared so I hid behind the bed curtain as about 6 doctors and nurses came running in to try and save her. No one noticed as I watched her die."

He had stayed there as the Doctor announced her dead and the nurses had covered her up. He had run away as soon as they had left and Melissa McCall had found him later crying in a linen cupboard. His Dad hadn't noticed his absence until Melissa had lead him to the waiting room where his Dad was crying, his eyes red and his hair a mess.

Derek didn't say anything but he moved his hand to Stiles' shoulder, squeezing gently. Stiles closed his eyes, his body growing slightly heavier and relaxed against Derek.

"I'm still angry at you," Stiles mumbled, tiredly.

"I know," Derek replied, rubbing Stiles' shoulder and bringing him slightly closer to his side. Stiles allowed it as he stared at the headstone.

They sat there in the rain, getting soaked through. Stiles didn't care though and Derek didn't move. It was cold, but Stiles didn't really feel it. All he could think about was his Mum's dead eyes which had stared at him as her head had fallen to the side, facing him as he hid behind the blue curtain.

That was all he thought about sometimes. It haunted his dreams. He thought about it now, his heartbeat picking up as his eyes grew moist and his throat thick. Silent tears fell down his cheeks but the rain washed them away instantly. He bowed his head and his face in his undrawn knees, his shoulders shaking. He felt lost and he wanted his mum here to find him.

But instead he had Derek, who he loved with all of his heart but also hated with all of his heart as well. He knew he should be pushing Derek away but he just couldn't bring himself to, and he was too tired to ask himself why.

What seemed like hours later, Stiles looked back up at his mother's grave. It was getting dark now but Stiles could still see the words clearly. He leant forward, out of Derek's touch and rested his forehead on the cold stone.

"I love you mum," he whispered, before taking a deep breath and standing up. Derek stood with him but didn't say anything. Stiles was glad. For once he preferred the quiet.

It took him a while to look away from his Mum's grave, but he did eventually and he slowly walked across the graves and towards his jeep. He felt Derek follow him. Stiles stopped at his jeep and turned to face Derek, who had water dripping down his face and off his nose.

Stiles wanted to wipe some of it away but he resisted the urge.

"Derek..." Stiles started but Derek just nodded, hearing the unspoken thank you on his tongue.

Stiles nodded back, and then left.

His wolf moaned all the way home but that was nothing new. It was tiring and it hurt.

Stiles didn't think he could keep the wolf caged much longer, but he wasn't ready to let go of his human side yet, and his human side was still angry at Derek.

He didn't like being angry but he couldn't let his human side go because then he would be letting his mum go, and he would never be able to do that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Three months before the bite **

Stiles was running through white corridors, beeping all around him. That was how he knew he was in a hospital. There was hissing behind him and Stiles briefly looked over his shoulder and saw the Kanima behind him, claws sharp as he climbed the walls to get to Stiles quicker, his eyes gleaming yellow and blue.

Stiles kept on running, his heart beating rapidly and his chest going tight. He ran around a corner and hid behind a vending machine. The hissing stopped and it went quiet. Stiles listened for it, his breathing heavy and his heart pounding.

After a few minutes Stiles came out and looked around. The hallway was empty.

He heard a sound coming from a door to his right. It was wet and gross. He knew that he should run but he was curious, so he stupidly walked across the hallway and stopped at the open door.

His Mother's eyes were looking back at him, wide and brown but blank and dead. There was blood on her face and neck and there was something big and hairy on her, biting into her neck. It looked up at Stiles, its face covered in red blood and its eyes gleaming bright red. It growled at Stiles as he took a step back, panic rising in him. It raised its hackles and leant down, ready to pounce. Stiles screamed as the wolf jumped at him.

Stiles woke up, the scream still on his lips. He still saw red eyes, glowing in the dark. It took him less than a second to realise that those eyes were real and there right beside him. He yelped, not able to scream as he was struggling to breathe. He moved away, falling off the bed and hitting his head on the bedside table. He crawled backwards, terrified and dizzy. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe and there was a monster in his room and he couldn't run. Fuck. He was going to die a virgin and in his pyjamas.

"Hey, hey," he heard a voice say and the red eyes were gone, replaced by calm green ones. Derek was beside him, shirtless and with a worried expression on his face. Stiles had forgotten that Derek had slept over.

Stiles' chest was tight and he knew he was having a panic attack. His eyes stung as they clouded with tears. And he couldn't breathe. Couldn't breathe.

Breathe!

"It's ok, Stiles," Derek said, his hand on the back of Stiles' neck. Stiles knew what he needed but he couldn't breathe so he couldn't talk. He held his hand up to his mouth, maiming his inhaler. He pointed to his beside dresser. Derek rushed off and the panic increased. His chest was heaving as he tried to take in air.

Derek was back and holding the cold plastic to Stiles' mouth. Stiles took it and pressed down, releasing the medicine into his mouth. He felt his throat loosen and he took a deep breath. Air rushed into his lungs and it was sweet.

His hands were shaking and he felt dizzy as he slumped against the wall. He realised then that he was clutching Derek's arm tightly. He let go, his eyes still stinging from unshed tears.

"Are you ok?" Derek asked, a hand on Stiles' arm, rubbing it gently. Stiles meant to nod but the tears started to fall and his head shook instead.

"Hey," Derek said softly and Stiles found himself reaching for Derek, needing to be close to him. Derek pulled Stiles against him, holding him tightly.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked but Stiles kept on shaking his head, the panic still overtaking him, even though he could breathe again. He buried his head in Derek's neck, hiding the tears even though he knew Derek could feel them on his skin.

Stiles ended up in Derek's lap, crawled up tightly against his chest. Derek rubbed his back in smooth circles, making quiet shushing sounds to calm him. Stiles did calm down, his breathes evening out and his whole body slumping against Derek's body. He felt embarrassed but he was too tired to care. He also felt dizzy and his head hurt. He was shaking and Derek held him tightly.

"I'm sorry," Stiles mumbled, sitting up slightly a few minutes later. Derek looked at him with a soft expression. He rubbed his thumb under Stiles' eye, wiping some of the tears away.

"I would never hurt you Stiles," Derek told him, sounding guilty and sad. Stiles shook his head, sighing slightly.

"Peter was in my dream so when I woke up and saw your red eyes I freaked out, I'm sorry," Stiles told him.

"I felt you panicking, I thought we were being attacked," Derek explained, sounding slightly hurt. Stiles lent forward and pressed their lips together briefly.

"I know you're different to Peter, your eyes are different, his were horrible, like blood, but yours are...softer somehow...I was half asleep, so I panicked for no reason," Stiles explained, his arms wrapping around Derek's neck in a loose grip. Derek rested his forehead against Stiles'.

"I know you would never hurt me," Stiles told him honestly. Derek smiled, his eyes open and bright. That made Stiles smile but he winced as his head gave a painful thud, a reminder that he had bashed it against the dresser.

He felt Derek's hand against his head and winced again but then relaxed as he felt the weird, pleasant feeling flow through him from Derek's pain reducing powers.

"It's just a bump, you don't have to do that," Stiles mumbled, feeling relaxed.

Derek pressed his lips against Stiles' forehead, and rested them there and Stiles closed his eyes at the touch. It was the most tender thing Derek had ever done.

"I don't like you hurting," he said, "now, come on, let's go back to bed."

Stiles followed him to the bed and they curled up against each other. Stiles felt protected and safe as Derek brought him close to his body, his nose nuzzled against Stiles' neck. He fell asleep pretty quickly but he knew that Derek would protect him.

**Present**

Stiles was eating dinner with his Dad. Now that the lies had stopped, they were more comfortable around each other, so there were no more eating meals at separate times and they were talking again. This made Stiles so happy. It was the one good thing that had come from the bite.

Stiles' phone started to ring and he looked at his Dad apologetically before answering it.

"Scott, what's up?"

"Stiles! You have to come quick!" Isaac yelled down the phone.

"Whoa, whoa, what's going on?" Stiles asked. He could feel Isaac's panic through the phone and heard growling in the background and something smash.

"It's Boyd!" Isaac told him, "He's gone crazy and we can't calm him down."

"Where's Derek?" Stiles asked, feeling his Dad's eyes on him.

"I don't know," Isaac said frantically, "He's not answering his phone."

There was another crash and Stiles heard Erica screaming something.

"Ok, ok, I'm coming, where are you?" Stiles asked, standing up and rushing to get his shoes. His Dad followed him.

"Boyd's house," Isaac answered, "Get here quickly, Boyd's trying to attack his brother."

"Ok, just hold on," Stiles said before hanging up.

"What's going on?" His Dad asked as Stiles pulled on his shoes.

"Boyd is having some trouble with his brother and I need to go help," Stiles told him, "I'll be back as soon as I can and I'll call if I'll be late."

"Be safe," the Sheriff told him seriously. Stiles nodded before running out of the door. He didn't take the car; it was quicker to run.

Boyd lived with his older brother, Stuart, who was about 22 years old. Their Mum had died when Boyd was young and their Dad left just after Stuart graduated High School. Stuart couldn't go to college because he had to look after Boyd. Stiles didn't know a lot about what happened at the house but he knew that Stuart resented Boyd big time and was very vocal about it. Boyd also had to do most of the cooking and cleaning around the house and before he had become a werewolf he had come into the school with bruises and cuts.

Stiles heard shouting before he even reached Boyd's street. He rushed in through the open door and to the kitchen where everyone was.

Boyd was being held back by Scott, Isaac and Jackson while he fought against them, completely wolfed out. He was growling at the man who was crawled in the corner, his eyes wide in fear. Erica was shouting at Boyd to calm down, tears rolling down her perfect face.

Before Stiles could even think about it, he stepped in front of Stuart, facing Boyd.

"Stop!" He commended, his eyes glowing and his claws sharp. The whole room went quiet as Boyd backed away, crawling against the wall behind him and covering his head in fear. Erica knelt down beside him and hugged him. Boyd nuzzled his head against her, shaking.

Isaac, Scott and Jackson stood side by side, looking at Stiles like they were expecting orders or something. Stuart was looking at them, looking confused and scared. He sat up slightly more straight, his eyes fixed on Stiles.

"Isaac, Erica, take Boyd to the den," Stiles told them. Isaac went to Boyd's side and helped him up. Boyd clung to Erica as they walked out.

"Jackson, drive them," Stiles said, "Keep watch outside but keep out of sight, hunters might have heard the noise and we don't want them creeping up on us."

Jackson nodded and followed them out.

"Scott," Stiles said and if Scott had dog ears they would have perked up as he waited for his orders, "You stay here with me."

Stiles smelt the happiness coming off him as Scott smiled.

Stiles went over to Stuart and dragged him up.

"Get off me," he yelled. Stuart was a lot bigger than Stiles, with a similar build to Boyd, so he probably thought he could threw Stiles off easily, but Stiles was strong and it was easy for him to drag Stuart to a chair and push him down on it.

"What the hell is going on?" Stuart snared, "What the fuck are you lot?"

"Shut up," Stiles growled, feeling very angry. This man had hurt his pup. That wasn't allowed.

"Now, before you go off and tell everyone what happened here, I just want you to know that we all know what you've done to Boyd and my dad is the Sheriff, who will make sure you go to prison for a very long time," Stiles told him, his hand on his shoulder, gripping tightly, "You've lost your right to be Boyd's brother and he won't be living here anymore," Stiles let his claws dig into Stuart's shoulder so the older man knew how sharp they were, "If you ever go near him or tell anyone about him then we will be back and we have a bigger, meaner wolf who does not forgive easily."

Stiles took his hand away, leaving holes in Stuart's t-shirt. Stiles' eyes were still orange as he gave Stuart one last glare and then turned away. He grabbed Scott's arm and then walked out.

"What happened?" Stiles asked, needing the whole story.

"We were around there so Boyd could grab some clothes because we are all sleeping at the den tonight. We were waiting in the living room when Stuart came in and starting yelling at Boyd in the kitchen," Scott told him, his tone slightly shaky and he smelt sad and angry, "it was pretty bad and he was really nasty things but Boyd told us to stay in the living room, but Stuart said something nasty about Erica and she started to cry and Boyd flipped out."

Stiles nodded, rubbing the back of his head. He wanted to go back and rip Stuart's throat out. He had hurt Boyd and upset Erica and annoyed him. He took a deep breath and they walked in silence to the warehouse which they had dibbed their den.

Boyd had calmed down and was sitting on a worn sofa that they had dragged into the warehouse. Erica was cuddled up against him. Isaac was ordering pizza and Jackson crept out of the shadows.

Stiles went over to Boyd and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

"Are you ok?" Stiles asked. Boyd looked up at him and nodded slowly. He looked confused as he studied Stiles. Erica was looking at with a look of awe. Stiles then realised that they were all looking at him and it was weird and uncomfortable.

"What?" He asked, looking around. He then smelt leather, ash and wood and he looked up to see Derek standing at the top of the stairs looking down at them.

"What happened?" He asked, coming down the stairs. Stiles could smell the worry that Derek was obviously feeling, even though his face was blank as he looked from Stiles to Boyd.

"Boyd just had a bit of a conflict with his brother," Scott replied as Erica leapt up, her eyes ablaze as she looked at Derek.

"Where were you!?" She demanded.

"That is none of your concern," Derek told her, looking angry, "Sit down Erica."

She hesitated and took a step back towards the sofa, her face weaving, but then her features hardened and she clutched her fists.

"Yes it is when one of us nearly kills someone because you're not here," she growled.

Stiles looked at her shocked. She had just disobeyed a direct order from her Alpha. He could smell the shock coming from Derek as well, but his expression was hard and blank.

Boyd wasn't looking at anyone. He just had his head bowed. Isaac was looking nervous, standing slightly behind Scott, who was looking between Erica and Derek with his confused puppy look. Jackson was quietly watching, leaning against a metal pillar.

"Stiles came and handled the situation perfectly and he picked up the phone without us calling him a million times," Erica went on and Stiles didn't like that she had dragged him into this.

"He is a much better Alpha than you," Erica growled and wow. She might as well have just punched Derek. He didn't fight back though. He just accepted the hush words.

"No," Stiles said, angry at Erica and the other wolves for thinking this, "No, I would make a lousy Alpha, we would all be dead in a week! I have no idea what I'm doing and I don't know half of the stuff that Derek does about all this supernatural stuff and he is strict with training so we can fight if we need to, so stop being stupid."

He looked at Erica, making sure his eyes stayed brown so that he could seem as human as possible.

"Derek is the Alpha."

He made sure to look at all of them in the eye before turning and walking out. On his way pass he grabbed Derek, whose heart was beating fast, and dragged him along with him. Once they were outside, Stiles let him go and sighed.

"I'm sorry about that," he told Derek.

"It's clear that they want to be with you," Derek growled, wringing his hands through his hair as he paced in front of Stiles.

"They're teenagers, of course they went to be with me," Stiles told him, laughing uneasily, "for some reason they see us as this parent unit and you're the mean strict Dad and I'm the kind Mum who gives them sweets and cuddles."

Derek's eyes softened slightly but he kept pacing.

"They only want me to be their Alpha because they think I will be soft with them and they won't have to do anything because they're lazy, and you know what? They're right because I am lazy as well."

Derek huffed out a laugh. The only reason Stiles heard it was because he now had super hearing.

"Look, they're stupid and immature and they will soon grow up and realise all you do for them."

"No, there's no point, you should just take them," Derek told them, and Oh God, he sounded so broken. Stiles' wolf wanted to reach out and hug him, to kiss him and tell him everything was going to be ok.

"I don't want them," Stiles said instead, "They're your betas, not mine." Stiles sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "look, obviously avoiding everyone was a bad idea, so I'll start coming to pack meetings and training."

Derek looked at him then, his face blank but his eyes showing hope.

"Really?" He asked. Stiles took a deep breath and nodded.

"I'll be part of the pack and I'll get the others to listen to you but it doesn't change things between us," he said. Derek's jaw tightened but he nodded.

"Ok, well I'm going to go home now because my Dad is waiting up for me," Stiles said, taking a step back before his wolf pounced on Derek to kiss the hurt away.

"Stiles," Derek said as he turned away. Stiles froze because it was like a stab to the heart. That single word coming from Derek's mouth, small and valuable in that moment. Stiles looked at him and oh fuck, even Derek can do puppy eyes. Sad and longing.

"Thank you," Derek mumbled. Stiles swallowed the lump in his throat away before nodding and running off.

**Three months before the bite**

"Enough!" Stiles shouted as Erica was thrown across the room, landing with a sicken crunch. She hissed in pain, clutching her chest, where her ribs were clearly broken.

They were in the den training. Stiles had watched as Derek had fought with all the betas and had managed to hurt all of them by slamming into walls, throwing them across the room and flipping them over his shoulder. Stiles knew it was to build up their stamina but he hated to see his friends getting hurt.

"No, come at me again," Derek commanded. Erica got to her feet, wincing at her healing injuries.

"No, they need a break," Stiles told the Alpha. He felt the whole room freeze as he gave the Alpha an order. Stiles didn't care though. He stepped in front of Erica and looked at Derek, who looked like he was trying really hard not to slam Stiles into a wall.

"If they get into a real fight though wouldn't get a break," Derek snared, his fists clutched tight.

"They know that," Stiles said, and then gave him a small smile, "Come on, I brought sandwiches."

Derek just threw his hands up in the air and then stormed off. Stiles sighed but turned to smile at the betas. Isaac was helping Erica to the sofa, while Boyd went to get the first aid kit and Scott flopped down on the armchair. Jackson sat down on the steps, examining his arm which had a nasty cut.

"Lunch time," Stiles smiled before grabbing the two cool bags he had brought. He had piles of chicken salad sandwiches and potato chips and cans of soda. Everyone chirped up as Scott grabbed the bags of sandwiches and handed them around. Boyd sat down next to Erica, who crawled up beside him. Jackson sat on the arm by Isaac, who opened a packet of chips. Scott sat back on the armchair and Stiles sat on the arm next to him and smiled as everyone tucked into their food.

"Thanks mum!" Jackson grinned as he grabbed a handful of chips.

"Ha ha," Stiles mocked as everyone laughed, but he smiled because the room was filled with happiness. There was someone missing though so once everyone was chatting and eating, Stiles grabbed a sandwich and snuck off to the end of the train that Derek had adopted his bedroom.

To be honest, it didn't look that bad. It had a mattress on the floor but it had a mountain of covers and blankets and cushions. There was been a few times that Stiles had wanted to bury himself in the nest beside Derek, but he hadn't really had a chance yet. Most of the time when it was just the two of them, they were around Stiles' house. The others knew about them, could smell it on them, but no one ever questioned it and Stiles was sure Derek didn't want to show any intimacy in front of the betas. So they avoided each other's touch when they were with the pack.

"Hey," Stiles said to Derek, who was sitting on one of the train seats, looking down. Stiles knew he was listening to the pack laughing and talking.

"I got some sandwiches," Stiles said, sitting next to him.

"Chicken salad," Stiles said in a sing-song voice. Derek looked up at him, eyebrows raised.

"Scrubs?" Stiles asked and his mouth dropped when Derek gave him a questioning look.

"Well, that's another TV show added to the list," Stiles told him, referring to the very long list of shows they had to watch because Derek seemed to have cut himself off from everything his whole life, even though he lived in New York for quite a good part of it.

"I'm sorry," Stiles sighed. He knew he had damaged Derek's ego by standing up to him in front of his pack.

"No, you were right," Derek sighed, rubbed his face, looking tired, "I'm just trying to get them ready."

"For what?" Stiles asked.

"The worst," Derek mumbled, "After the Kanima and Gerald, and the Alpha pack threatening us, I just want us to be ready."

"I know," Stiles sighed and put his hand on Derek's knee. It was suppose to be a brief, comforting touch, but Derek put his hand on top of Stiles', keeping it there. Stiles smiled shyly to himself as Derek squeezed his hand gently.

"You need to give them breaks because you'll end up killing them from exhaustion," Stiles told him, trying to make it light hearted by also being serious.

Derek just sighed and shook his head. He gave Stiles' hand a final squeeze before letting go and taking the sandwich from Stiles. He took one half and gave the other half to Stiles. Stiles took it, biting back a remark he was going to make. Derek ate in silence, his shoulder nudging against Stiles' slightly.

"So are you actually listening to me for once?" Stiles asked.

"Shut up Stiles."

Stiles laughed but did shut up.


	7. Chapter 7

**Present Day**

The music wasn't as bad as Stiles thought it would be as he walked into the club, trailing Danny who had convinced Stiles to come out. The music was loud but it wasn't giving him a headache like he thought it would. Maybe because it was consistent and Stiles was expecting it, and it was blocking out all other sounds. Danny turned to him and smiled as he nodded towards the bar. Stiles smiled, genially smiled and it felt weird. He hadn't smiled in a while but the atmosphere was fun and the music made Stiles want to dance and the drag queens were already trying to wave him over. Stile waved back at the friends he had made 6 months ago, before following Danny to the bar.

For once Stiles stayed quiet as Danny flirted with the barman and got them free drinks. Stiles silently took the beer with a smile on his face. He leant against the bar, sipping the beer as Danny kept on talking the barman. It didn't bother Stiles; he was just happy being out.

Danny had cornered him at lunch and told him that he looked like he needed a night out. Stiles found it hard to argue so just went along with it. He wanted to get out and forget everything for a little while. He couldn't drink his problems away like he use to but maybe he could dance them away.

In the next hour he danced with everyone. He made sure to let anyone who got too close know that he wasn't interested, but gently, like a small smile and shake of his head, but he didn't let that affect him having a good time. He liked dancing and he like being around people. He had forgotten that in the recent months with the solitude he had put himself in.

He tried to forget about the pain he had felt the last couple of months by singing at the top of his lungs and focusing on the people around him. Some people from school he recognised, the friends he had made the few times he had come before and Danny.

Danny dragged Stiles back to the bar, clutching his hand tightly. Danny had had a lot of drinks brought for him and Stiles knew he was a bit tipsy.

"Two Malibu and cokes barman," Danny ordered jokingly as they got there. The barman winked at him before giving them their drinks.

"You need to get back out there, Stiles," Danny said, turning to him.

"What?" Stiles laughed, taking the drink and sipping it.

"I know things ended sour with the last guy but there's plenty more fish in the sea."

"Wolves in the forest," Stiles mumbled.

"What?" Danny asked. Stiles shook his head and looked up at Danny.

"Nothing," he smiled, taking a gulp of his drink, "Look, I'm fine, I don't need anyone, I'm happy on my own."

Danny shook his head but didn't mention it again. Instead they began to talk about lacrosse, while Danny kept flirting with the barman.

Stiles listened in amusement. Danny was trying way too hard for someone as hot as he was. The barman was good looking but he had nothing on Danny.

After a little while, Stiles started to feel weird. The sounds around him seemed to get quieter and his sight was fizzy around the edges. He frowned. The alcohol shouldn't be affecting him. He couldn't even focus on what Danny was saying. Danny was looking at him with concern. Stiles thought he was saying 'Are you ok?' but he wasn't sure.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Stiles told him and walked away before Danny could say anything. He staggered away, out of the dance area, and in to the dark corridor that had the toilets in. The walls were lined with couples making out and doing more than R rated stuff. Stiles tripped over his feet and braced himself against the wall as the world spun around him.

Suddenly he smelt dried sweat and beer as someone got into his personal space. It was a large middle aged man dressed in an awful v-neck t-shirt that showed way too much of his hairy chest, and tight jeans that hid nothing.

"Hey, hot stuff," he grinned. Stiles put his hands up and tried to push him away, but all his strength had left him.

The man got closer to Stiles, sniffing him as he smiled.

"You smell good," the man purred, "do you taste good?"

"No, get off," Stiles tried, turning his face away and pushing at the man. He didn't listen though and moved his face so it was tucked in-between Stiles' neck and shoulder.

"No," Stiles begged, tears in his eyes. He thought of Derek's soft eyes, frowned in pain and betrayal. Stiles couldn't stand the thought of anyone else touching him part from the alpha who had been his first kiss.

"Derek," he cried, closing his eyes as all he smelt was the stale sweat and bad breath of the man whose mouth was on his neck, kissing him with gross, wet noises.

And then suddenly the man was pulled away from him and punched very hard in the face. Stiles' personal space was invaded again but this time by someone in leather and who smelt of the forest.

"Derek," Stiles said again, but this time in relief. Derek looked concerned as he cupped Stiles' face with both his hands. Stiles felt the tears rolling down his cheeks as he looked into Derek's green eyes.

"Are you ok?" Derek asked.

"I feel funny," Stiles told him, shaking and feeling like he was going to throw up. He gripped Derek's arms tightly.

"There's hunters here," Derek explained, "I think they spiked your drink."

Stiles swayed on the spot, his eyesight going even more fuzzy as he fell into Derek.

"Come on, let's get you out of here," Derek said, putting an arm around Stiles' waist and helping him walk out. He half-carried Stiles out of the club and out to the Camaro, which was waiting outside.

"Wait, wait," Stiles said, stopping in his tracks and pulling away from Derek, back towards the club.

"Stiles, we have to get out of here," Derek told him with a tight grip on his arm.

"The barman, he's the hunter," Stiles told him, trying not to be sick; he felt so dizzy, "We need to get Danny."

"He'll be fine, he's a human, they won't hurt him," Derek tried to reassure him. Stiles snatched his arms from Derek's grip, shaking his head.

"No, they took me, remember?" Stiles nearly yelled, tears falling from his eyes, "I don't want that to happen to Danny."

Derek's eyes were soft when he looked at him. He took hold of Stiles' arm again and cupped his face, stroking the tears away.

"OK, we'll just get in the car and then I'll call him, ok?" Derek promised. Stiles nodded and let Derek move him into the car. He settled into the seat and gave Derek his phone with shaky hands. He watched as Derek rang Danny.

"Stiles, where are you?" Danny answered the phone.

"Danny, are you still at the club?" Derek asked, covering Stiles' shaking hand with his.

"Who is this?" Danny asked, sounding suspicious even with the loud music behind him.

"I'm a friend of Stiles, look, you need to come outside, it isn't safe in there, I'll take you home."

"What?" Danny asked, sounding confused.

"Just get out here," Derek barked and it seemed like his power to control people worked even over the phone because Danny was at the car five minutes later.

"Aren't you Derek Hale?" Danny asked as he climbed into the back of the car.

Stiles didn't let Derek answer though as he turned to Danny, his words slurring as he spoke.

"It's dangerous in there, Danny, the barman is bad, you can't see him again."

"Are you drunk, Stiles?" Danny asked, leaning forward as Derek drove off, "You only had two drinks."

"His drink was spiked," Derek told him, driving way too fast.

"What!?" Danny asked, gripping the back of the seat as the car rushed around a corner.

"The barman," Stiles told him, turning around and grabbing a very shocked Danny by the arm, "Please don't go back there, it's dangerous."

"Stiles, its ok," Derek smoothed him, putting a hand on his thigh, "You're both safe now, you can go to sleep if you want."

Stiles looked at him and then at Danny, who nodded, his eyes soft and sympathetic. Stiles sighed, before letting go off Danny and leaning back into his seat. He felt tired but he didn't want to go to sleep yet. He shut his eyes but he focused on the noises around him. Danny's slightly erratic breathing that was slowly calming and Derek's warm hand on his leg. He knew that he would regret this closeness in the morning but at the moment he was relieved that Derek was there, and even though Stiles was still scared and felt like his skin was crawling, he felt safe with Derek there.

"Stiles thinks it was the bartender that spiked his drink so just steer clear of him for now, ok?" Derek told Danny as he drove on.

"Is Stiles in danger? Why would someone spike his drink?" Danny asked. Derek gripped Stiles' leg slightly tighter and answered,

"It was a date rape drug," Derek answered and Danny was silent for a moment. Stiles heard Danny's heartbeat quicken slightly.

"Did...did anything..." he started, his voice quiet and shaky.

"No, I got there just in time," Derek answered but his voice was heavy in anger.

"Oh God," Danny mumbled. Stiles could feel him still clutching the back of the seat and looking at him.

"Are you the guy?" Danny asked a couple of minutes later.

"What guy?" Derek asked.

"The guy that..." Danny started, sounding unsure, "that Stiles use to date?"

"We didn't date," Stiles mumbled, his eyes still closed, "We were just fooling around."

He felt Derek tense and move his hand away. Stiles regretted saying it but he didn't say anything else. He just crawled up tighter, folding his arms across his body.

The car went silent after that and Stiles drafted off.

He woke briefly as Danny got out at his house, but he was too tired to say goodbye. He heard Derek call Jackson to tell him to keep watch at Danny's house before falling asleep again.

* * *

Stiles woke up in a bundle of blankets, feeling very warm. His head was still spinning though and he felt sick. He opened his eyes to find that he was in the train, lying in Derek's nest. He was lying on his side and he could see Derek on a seat, his arm crossed over his chest and his head bowed. Stiles could hear he was asleep but on the verge of waking up. Derek had always been a light sleeper so Stiles waking up was probably enough to wake him up.

As on cue, Derek started to stir. His head lifted and their eyes connected. Derek's eyes were hard as he looked away, rubbing his neck.

"What happened?" Stiles grumbled, slowly sitting up and wrapping a blanket around his shoulders.

"You don't remember?" Derek asked, looking at him again. It all came back to Stiles then. The music, the creep and his bad breath, getting way too close, his lips against his neck.

"Oh God," Stiles mumbled, his breathing quickening as he pulled the blanket tighter against him.

"Hey, its ok," Derek said, suddenly beside him, rubbing his back gently, "he didn't do anything."

Stiles nodded, his chest feeling tight but his breathing slowing as Derek stroked his back.

The alpha backed away, sitting back on the mattress. He looked as wrecked as Stiles felt. He had shadows under his eyes and he seemed pale. Stiles' wolf was whimpering, wanting to crawl up against Derek.

"I felt really weak," Stiles whispered, tears stinging his eyes, "I thought that had ended now, I thought I was strong."

"You are," Derek told him, "But the hunters know how to make us weak, they put wolfs bane in your drink."

"God, I feel so stupid," Stiles moaned, bring his knees to his chest and burying his face in them.

Derek was silent for a moment, not giving Stiles much reassurance. He felt tense and Stiles wanted to leave, but he still felt dizzy.

"Stiles," Derek said softly. Stiles looked up and took a sharp intake of breath at the pain in Derek's face.

"Do you really think we were just fooling around?" He asked, his voice quiet.

"Weren't we?" Stiles asked, confused. Derek bit his lip and he looked so vulnerable.

"I mean, we never said it was anything more and it was just kissing and stuff, we never went on dates and I never told my Dad," Stiles explained, "To be honest, it just felt like we were using each other to get through all the crap we had to go through."

Derek tensed his jaw and looked away.

"Is that how you really felt?" He asked.

Stiles thought about all the times that Derek had taken away his pain, all the graveyard visits, the movies that they had watched together, all the meals they had cooked together. The dream Stiles had about them living together with a huge living room where the whole pack would come and hang out. The dream of them getting married.

Stiles thought about all of that and answered,

"Yes."

Even Stiles heard his own lie so he knew Derek had heard it. He still looked hurt though.

"I've always known you were my mate," Derek told him and Stiles' mouth dropped open.

"No you didn't," he said, feeling defensive, "you hated me."

Derek ran his hands over his face, looking irritated.

"No, I didn't," he sighed, "I kept my distance because you were young and I thought I would put you in danger, but you kept putting yourself in danger anyway."

"No," Stiles said, throwing the blanket off and standing up, "No, we can't be."

Because he knew what that meant. Mates were forever. He couldn't be connected forever to someone that had hurt him so badly.

He went to leave but Derek grabbed his wrist.

"You can't keep running away from me," Derek told him, looking angry. Stiles glared at him, trying to tag his arm free.

"This thing we have between us, or had between us, is serious to me. I care about you and it kills me that I hurt you, it feels like my heart is tearing apart," Derek told him, his voice full of pain.

"Then why did you do it?!" Stiles demanded.

"I didn't mean to!" Derek yelled, shaking him slightly. His features softened and he bowed his head so he was nearly resting against Stiles' neck. He sniffed and Stiles grimaced, but not because Derek was so close. It was because he could still smell the creep from the night before on his skin and it made him feel ashamed and sick.

Derek came closer and Stiles shivered as he kissed his neck. It was just a soft touch but he lingered there for a moment. Derek looked up and their eyes connected. Stiles swallowed, wanting to leave but also wanting to stay.

"I love you Stiles," Derek said and Stiles' heart stopped. He pulled his arm free and backed away.

"You can't just say things like that," Stiles breathed, shaking.

"I love you," Derek said again, and Oh God he had tears in his eyes. Stiles could smell the salt and he could feel the heat from his cheeks. Stiles whimpered and took a step forward before shaking his head and closing his eyes.

"I am so sorry I hurt you," Derek begged him to believe him, "I would do anything to change that, and I'm sorry I didn't treat you right before."

"Please stop," Stiles asked, tears in his own eyes.

"Stiles," Derek asked but Stiles ran out of the train, his heart racing.

It wasn't just the wolf crying as Stiles ran out of the warehouse.

**1 month before the bite**

"Come one, we're nearly there," Stiles panted, pulling Isaac along through the woods. The beta was clutching Stiles and limping alongside him, an arrow sticking through his leg. They were in the forest and it was dark. Behind thing were the sounds of guns shooting and people shouting.

They had been training in the forest when hunters had come out of nowhere and just started shooting at them. Isaac had been shot by an arrow and Derek had yelled at Stiles to get him out of there.

So now they were racing towards the jeep, Isaac getting heavier and heavier against him. They ran through a bush into the clearing where the jeep, Derek's Camaro and Jackson's car were parked. Stiles dragged Isaac over to the jeep. He leant the wolf against the door while he unlocked it.

"Stiles," Isaac moaned, "I don't feel well."

Stiles looked at him, digging for his keys in his pocket. Isaac was pale and sweaty, with bloodshot eyes and purple lips.

"Shit," Stiles cursed, recognising the symptoms, "I have to get that arrow out."

He knelt down and took hold of the arrow.

"No, no," Isaac begged, clutching Stiles' shoulders tightly.

"It has wolf bane on it," Stiles explained, "I have to get it out."

Isaac closed his eyes and nodded, still clutching Stiles' shoulders. Stiles took a deep breath before pulling the arrow out quickly and swiftly. Isaac screamed and Stiles felt his claws sunk into his shoulders.

"Ok, ok," he said, standing up and helping Isaac stand by pressing a hand to his chest, "Let's get you to Deaton."

"Stiles," Isaac whimpered and he had tears in his eyes, "Stiles, I'm scared."

"Hey," Stiles told him, putting a hand on Isaac's shoulder. Isaac looked at him with big brown eyes and wow, sad brown eyes were the worst.

"You'll going to be fine," Stiles reassured him. Isaac nodded and allowed Stiles to move him into the car. Stiles got in the driver's seat and threw the arrow into the backseat.

Stiles drove as fast as he could to the vets, praying that Deaton was still there. Isaac grew quiet and this made Stiles nervous.

"Big game on Friday," he said, trying to get Isaac to talk and trying to concentrate on the road so he didn't crash.

"Yeah," Isaac hissed out, pain clear in his voice, "We still practising on Thursday?"

"Yeah, of course we are," Stiles told him, his hands clutching the stirring wheel tightly, "me, you and Scott."

"We...we should prank Scott again," Isaac mumbled, referring to the time they had put hot sauce in Scott's drink.

"Yeah, I think I have itchy powder somewhere, we could do something with that."

Isaac didn't say anything and it was too quiet again.

"Isaac," Stiles said, and risked a look. Isaac was slumped in the seat, his head against the window. He was ghostly pale and sweaty. His eyes were shut and his breathing was shallow.

"Isaac!"

"I feel...weird," Isaac breathed, his voice nearly too quiet for Stiles to hear.

"Ok, we're nearly there now," Stiles said, going faster than he should.

He skidded to a stop in front of the vets. He jumped out of the car and ran around to the passenger seat.

Isaac fell out of the car as Stiles opened the door. Stiles caught him, wincing under his weight. He held Isaac up and dragged him to the door.

"Deaton!" Stiles yelled, crashing through the door with Isaac. He dragged Isaac over to the back door where Deaton was tidying up his instruments.

"What happened?" The vet asked, coming over and helping Isaac over to the steel table.

"Wolf bane," Stiles told him, lying Isaac down, whose face was contracted in pain. Deaton started cutting Isaac's trousers away to look at the wound. It looked red and swollen, dark with blood and black veins that shouldn't be there.

"Hold him still," Deaton instructed, going to a cupboard and getting out something purple and familiar. Stiles put his arm over Isaac's chest, pinning him down. Isaac screamed as Deaton poured the powder into the wound. His eyes flew open and he thrashed around, trying to get away from the pain.

"No, no stop!" Isaac screamed and Stiles bit his lip, unable to stand the pain in Isaac's voice. Isaac then went really quiet, his eyes closing and his body going still.

"Oh my God! Isaac!" Stiles yelled, panicking.

"He's ok, Stiles," Deaton told him calmly, "He just needs to rest now."

Stiles let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and nodded. He kept his hands on Isaac's chest, feeling his heartbeat as Deaton washed the wound.

Stiles had never been that close to anyone that wasn't Scott. It had always been just them two. Scott, the boy who couldn't run more than 100 metres without wheezing like a fish out of water, and Stiles, the hyper active kid who wouldn't shut up and annoyed everyone. Somehow they became friends and it had just been them two.

And Stiles had been fine with that. They were close and they were always going to be close, and Stiles had accepted that it was just going to be the two of them. But then Scott got bitten and Derek came along and he brought Isaac, Erica and Boyd, and then Jackson started to talk to them and Lydia actually liked them.

And Stiles became friends with all of them and he cared for all of them. It was weird but it felt so great. Even though Stiles was very obviously the weakest member of the pack, he was very protective of all of them, especially the betas.

Derek had told Stiles to run as soon as they had heard the hunters, but he had ignored him, unwilling to leave his friends in danger.

As soon as Isaac had been shot, Stiles ran to him, his only thought was getting Isaac as far away from the arrows as possible. Derek had barked orders at him to get away from there but Stiles didn't need telling. He was already hurling Isaac up and running into the woods.

But now Stiles felt guilty that he had left the rest of the pack in the forest. He felt sick to the stomach thinking about them out there with the hunters and the wolf bane ammo. Stiles looked at Isaac's sleeping and now peaceful face.

"I'm going to go get them," Stiles said, turning around and walking out the door.

"Stiles, wait," Deaton called after him, following him out, "You should wait here."

"I can't, I-" Stiles started but then he heard cars pull up outside. Derek was through the door a second later and Stiles found himself pushed against the wall.

"Wha-?!" Stiles gasped, wondering what he had done this time, but Derek cut him off by pressing their lips together.

For a split second Stiles was caught up in the rough touch of Derek's lips and the feel of his hands clutching his hips tightly. It was desperate and hot.

But then Stiles heard the rest of the pack come in and Stiles realised that this was the first time that they had kissed in front of anyone.

Stiles pushed him away but Derek didn't go far, instead running his hands over Stiles' body, as if looking for injuries.

"What are you doing?" Stiles asked, but Derek didn't answer as he felt Stiles' head and ran his hands down his chest. Stiles could see the worry in his face, his brow creased and his jaw tight.

"I'm ok Derek," Stiles mumbled as the Alpha reached his hands that were covered in blood. Derek held them in his in a gentle grip, his thumb rubbing over Stiles'. Stiles looked over Derek's shoulder to the rest of the pack.

Erica had a cut on her head and was sitting on a chair, Boyd kneeling in front of her, holding a cloth to her damaged skin. Jackson was fussing over Lydia, who was smiling through a split lip. Stiles heard Jackson call her an idiot, but he was smiling fondly at her. She had a bow and arrow at her feet, several arrows missing. Allison had been teaching her how to shoot and by the look of things it was worth well. Scott was looking worried and awkward near the door, watching Derek and Stiles. Stiles looked back at Derek, into his green eyes, which were hard and angry and very, very sad.

"Isaac is fine," Stiles told him, "He's through there."

Derek nodded and let go off his hands. He hesitated for a moment but finally tore his glance from Stiles and went into the back room.

Stiles sighed and approached Scott, who looked pale and tired.

"Is Isaac ok?" Scott asked as Stiles clasped his shoulder.

"Yeah, the arrow had wolf bane on it but Deaton healed him," Stiles told him.

"Good," Scott sighed, before relaxing his shoulders and looking at Stiles with big, wet eyes, "The hunters went after you when you ran off and Derek went crazy trying to keep them off your tail, we managed to chase them off but it was pretty scary, we didn't know where they all went."

"Me and Isaac are fine," Stiles reassured him, gripping Scott's shoulder tightly. He looked at the other betas, who looked worn and downhearted. It hurt to see them that way.

"Get them to the warehouse," Stiles told Scott, "Hide the cars and get some rest."

"What about Isaac?" Scott asked.

"Me and Derek will get him home," Stiles answered. Scott nodded and started to gather the betas up. Stiles was surprised at the lack of protest as they left. Lydia gave him a sweet smile and Boyd gave him a short nod. Erica even gave him a quick hug before leaving. It didn't feel strange at all. He wanted the pack to be safe and he knew that the warehouse was the safest place.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Derek carefully placed Isaac on the sofa in the warehouse. Isaac was awake but only barely. He slumped back on the sofa, sighing heavily. Stiles sat down next to him, feeling tired but relieved that Isaac was ok.

Derek disappeared, probably to check on the rest of the pack. Most of them had taken a compartment of the train and made it their own. Only Scott didn't have one and he was curled up in a ball on the armchair, snoring lightly.

Isaac followed suit, lying down and resting his head on Stiles' thigh. Stiles was startled at first but he was too tired to care if this was too friendly or weird. He rested his hand on Isaac's shoulder, and then laid his head back against the sofa, feeling tense and so very tired. His body ached where he had dragged Isaac through the forest. Isaac was already asleep, breathing deeply, looking peaceful.

A hand on his neck made Stiles jump slightly but he smiled up at Derek who was standing over them.

"They're all asleep," the Alpha told him, rubbing his neck gently. Stiles sighed as he felt the familiar sensation of wolf pain relief flow through him.

"You don't have to do that," Stiles hummed, his shoulders relaxing. Derek had spent the night using his wolfy powers on Isaac while Stiles watched, wishing he could do the same.

Derek sat down on the floor in front of them and Stiles ran his hand through Derek's hair, massaging his scalp. Derek leant back into the touch, moaning very quietly. Stiles smiled and shut his eyes.

"Thanks for tonight," Derek said, his voice quiet. He sounded just as exhausted as Stiles felt.

"For what?" Stiles yawned.

"Saving Isaac," Derek told him, "You didn't have to, you could have just ran."

"Don't be stupid," Stiles chuckled, snuggling his head against the back of the sofa, one of his hands rubbing Isaac's shoulder and his other resting among Derek's soft hair, "I'm pack, aren't I? We look after each other, wolf or not,"

"Yeah..." Derek mumbled, completely relaxing against Stiles' knees, "You're pack."

Stiles fell asleep with a smile on his lips.


	8. Chapter 8

**Present Day**

Stiles pulled up outside the Police Station. He had lunch box full of salad and fruit he knew his Dad was going to glare at.

Stiles felt guilty though as he hadn't visited his Dad at the station since he had been bitten. He had been too bust moping around feeling sorry himself. Stiles decided that it was enough of that and to start getting on with his life, even if that life did involve fangs now.

And that started with going and having lunch with his Dad.

Stiles pushed the door of the station open, smiling at the police officer at the reception desk. She smiled back but Stiles missed it as he stopped in tracks. A wave of smells hit him, blood, gun powder, the thick smell of the kanima's poison. With all of these smells came a wave of memories.

Being paralysed and helpless, all the gun shots, glass shattering over him, crawling slowly through the blood and dead bodies, the cold, dead eyes, his Dad falling unconscious on the floor.

"Are you ok?" He heard the officer say but it sounded distant and muffled. His chest was tight as he found it hard to breathe. He backed away, wanting to get away but his back hit the wall.

Black spots appeared in his vision as he struggled to breathe. He felt dizzy as he sunk to his knees, his whole body shaking. He clutched his shirt, panic overtaking him.

Breathe, he begged himself, but he couldn't think. All he could see was blood.

Blood and yellow eyes and his dad on the floor. He wanted to yell but nothing came out as he clawed at his throat.

"Stiles," someone whispered in front of him. Stiles looked up and into the soft eyes of Derek. He had his hand on Stiles' cheek, stroking it gently. Stiles reached forward and clutched Derek's shirt, trying to tag him closer, needing to smell something other than blood.

"What's going on?" The woman at reception asked, sounding worried.

"He's the Sheriff's son, go get him," Derek instructed, not looking away from Stiles.

"It's ok," Derek told him as the officer ran off, "Matt's gone, the kanima has gone."

Stiles nodded, tears falling from his eyes. He leant his head forward, pulling Derek towards him. Derek was on his knees before him and Stiles pulled him close enough to bury his face in Derek's chest, enveloping himself in the Alpha's smell. Fresh and clean and right.

Derek rubbed his back in small circles, holding him close. Stiles got his breath back, breathing in Derek's scent.

"It's ok," Derek mumbled in his ear and Stiles believed him. He felt his wolf relax and he nodded against Derek's chest.

"Are you following me?" Stiles asked as Derek pressed a cup of coffee into his hands. They were in the witness interview room, sitting at the table. The Sheriff had fussed over Stiles until the Sheriff had been called out on a shop lifter, leaving Stiles and Derek alone.

Derek didn't answer and Stiles gaped at him.

"Oh my God, you totally have," he said in frustration.

"There are hunters around," Derek told him, "I've been worried, and for good reason as well."

Stiles wanted to tell him that he could look after himself, but to be honest he was grateful that Derek was there. Derek's smell was the only thing keeping him grounded at the moment. Stiles could still smell the blood. It lingered in the walls and the cracks in between the tiles on the floor. Stiles shivered; Matt hitting his Dad's head, coming to his mind again.

"I still have nightmares," Stiles mumbled, "I couldn't get to my Dad, I saw him on the floor and I thought he was dead. I couldn't hear his heartbeat and it was too dark to see his breathing and I couldn't get to him."

There were tears in his eyes again and he tried to push them away. He felt Derek's hand on his and his breathing calmed. He closed his eyes and flipped his hand over so that their hands were palm to palm and squeezed. He heard Derek's heart pick up slightly as the Alpha said,

"It's over now."

"But it's not thought, is it?" Stiles mumbled, "As you just said, there are still hunters around."

"Stiles," Derek said with enough strength that Stiles looked up to meet his green eyes, "I promise you that no one will hurt your Dad, I would die before I let any harm come to you or your Dad."

Stiles swallowed away the lump in his throat and the tears stinging his eyes before nodding. He moved forward and wrapped his arms around Derek's neck, nuzzling his face in between Derek's neck and shoulder. Derek's breath hitched and he seemed to hesitate to hug back but finally he placed his hands on Stiles' back and turned his head so his nose was buried in Stiles' hair.

"I'm really trying to forgive you," Stiles mumbled, near Derek's ear, "but the part of me that is still angry at you is the human side of me and I can't give that part of me up yet."

"I know," Derek told him, rubbing his back in small circles, "It's fine, I'll wait, I'll wait as long as it takes, I just want you to be happy and safe."

Stiles smiled and leant back, wiping a tear away.

"I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said," he laughed uneasily, before looking around and shivering again. Shattered windows and blood spluttered walls appeared in his mind. He shook it off and stood up.

"I'm...I'm going to go home now," he said, rubbing the back of his head, "I've got a load of homework and sleep to catch up on."

"Do you want me to take you home?" Derek asked.

"No, I'm ok," Stiles smiled, looking up at him, "But thank you...I'll see you at training tomorrow."

Derek smiled back and Stiles' wolf yelped happily.

**1 week before the bite**

"Do we have to watch the Avengers?" Lydia moaned, sliding into Jackson's lap, who was sitting on the armchair, "Jackson has already made me watch it twice."

"Of course we do," Isaac told her, helping Boyd drag in another sofa that Derek had brought for occasions just like this. They now had two large sofas, two armchairs and a few bean chairs. Jackson had brought his big widescreen TV and Xbox console from home and it looked really out of place balanced on a wooden crate.

Erica was stretched out on the other sofa and Stiles was setting up the film. Scott walked through the den's door with a high pile of pizza boxes, and Derek appeared from his compartment with bags of popcorn, which he threw at members of the pack.

"Aww, look, Papa Derek does care about us, buying us treats," Erica cooed, opening the popcorn and shoving a huge handful into her mouth. Derek gave her a glare but there was no real heat behind it.

Scott placed the pizza in the middle of the sitting area and it was immediately pounced on by the wolves. Stiles looked up, catching Lydia's eye. She rolled her eyes and Stiles laughed.

"Right, come on, leave some for us weak humans," Stiles told them, braving the betas' and stanching a pizza box away from them.

"Here you go," he smiled at Lydia, offering her the box. She smiled back at him, taking a piece.

"Well, at least someone is a gentleman," Lydia said, giving Jackson an unimpressed look.

"Plates," Derek told them, throwing them each a paper plate, "we're not animals."

There were several rolling eyes but everyone obeyed the Alpha.

"Right, come on, everyone sit down," Stiles told them, as the start menu come up. He threw the controller to Isaac and then sat down on the new sofa.

"Thanks Mama Stiles for getting Papa Derek to agree to this," Erica smiled at him as Boyd sat down next to her and she spread her legs out across his lap.

"Yeah, thank you Mama Stiles," Isaac and Jackson laughed.

"Shut up," Stiles sighed, but he chuckled slightly. Truth be told he didn't mind the nickname, even if it did imply that he was a girl. It made him feel like of the pack. Derek sat down next to him and handed him a plate of pizza. Stiles smiled widely, leaning against Derek as the film started. They had been a lot more open about their...relationship since the incident with Isaac. They weren't making out or anything like that in front of the pack but they would touch more often and right now they were pressed tightly together and Derek had his hand on Stiles' knee.

The pack had known about their relationship for a long time but they had only begun to see them act like they were closer than they should be. Stiles was actually beginning to feel like they were in a relationship. It was a weird feeling but it made Stiles happy.

Derek turned his head as the opening credits began, and buried his nose into Stiles' neck. The human chuckled and leant away.

"That tickles," Stiles whispered.

"You smell happy," Derek told him.

"Of course I do, Ironman, Captain America, the Hulk, Thor and Loki are just about to come onto the screen," Stiles mumbled, looking at Derek, who was looking at him with a small smile and his green eyes. He looked relaxed and happy himself.

"I thought Loki was the bad guy?" Derek asked.

"That's what I used to think about you," Stiles teased, "Now watch the movie."

"Yes Mama Stiles," Derek teased back, before turning towards the TV. He took a piece of pizza and Stiles watched him eat it for moment before turning around as well. He smiled to himself, enjoying the closeness and the feeling of having the pack around him. For the first time he truly felt like pack, even though he was human. He knew this was where he belonged. He put his hand on Derek's knee and squeezed. He didn't have to be a werewolf to sense the smile on Derek's face.

**Present Day**

Stiles was playing lacrosse when he heard it. One of the worse sounds he had ever heard. It was loud and painful and sent chills right down his spine and goosebumps running up his arm. It was a howl, long and high pitched. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked towards the woods. Scott, Isaac and Jackson did the same and Boyd stood up from where he was sitting at the stands. A howl erupted from his mouth, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and look at him. Boyd ignored them though and leapt off the stands and started running across the field towards the woods.

"C'mon," Stiles yelled to the other betas, before racing after Boyd. They ran off the patch and into the forest. The Hale house was three miles away but they got there in just ten minutes.

Erica was in the patio, an arrow in her leg and one in her shoulder. Boyd pulled them out and Stiles could smell the wolf bane. She was near unconscious but when they reached her side she tried to pull herself up and clutched Stiles' arm tightly. Boyd tried to hold her still so he could stop the bleeding but she was desperately trying to say something, her eyes red and her hair a mess. There was a red smear across her face.

"What happened?" Stiles asked gently, stroking her hair out of her face as Boyd clutched the wound on her shoulder tightly. Isaac had taken off his shirt and was wrapping it around the wound on her leg. Jackson was on the phone to Lydia, telling her to bring her car quickly.

"They took Derek," Erica told him, tears running down her cheeks. Stiles' blood ran cold but he tried to stay calm for the pack. He smelt the fear in every one of them, with Erica near hysteric.

"Who took him, Erica?" Stiles asked, rubbing her arms to try and calm her.

"The hunters," Erica cried, "they just appeared, they had no scent and he didn't hear them."

Stiles know straight away what hunters they were. They were the hunters that had shot him all those months ago.

"Where did they go?" Stiles asked. Erica shook her head, her whole body shaking.

"I'm sorry," she cried and Boyd wrapped his arms around her, bringing her close to him.

"Ok, it's ok," Stiles told her, standing up. He looked at the pack; Boyd trying to calm Erica, Isaac desperately trying to stop the bleeding, Scott pacing beside them nervously and Jackson standing at the bottom of the patio, looking at the road leading to the house and fidgeting his hands nervously.

"Right," Stiles said, trying to form a plan, "Boyd, when Lydia gets here take Erica to Deaton and all three of you stay there until I say otherwise."

Boyd nodded and Stiles turned to the others.

"Isaac, tie the t-shirt around Erica's leg," Stiles ordered, "You three try and find a scent, search the woods and the roads and try and get Derek's scent, keep your phones on and call if you get anything."

They all nodded and set off, racing in opposite directions. Stiles gave Erica's shoulder a quick squeeze before running towards the road that ran through the woods. There were fresh tracks leading through the mud from the Hale's house to the road. He could smell Derek but only very slightly. Derek was around his old house so often that his scent was imbedded in the trees and bushes.

Stiles followed the tracks to the road and stopped on the edge of the tarmac. He couldn't smell anything unusual or foreign scents so he couldn't determine if the vehicle had gone left or right. Stiles worried his lip, not sure what to do. His heart was beating so fast it was making him dizzy. He felt sick, like his skin was crawling. He was angry, the wolf in him growling, begging to come out, to fight, to hunt, and Stiles let him.

Before he realised what he was doing, he was running through the woods, alongside the road, his eyes orange and his face shifted. One thought went through his mind.

Derek.

He searched all night, trying and failing to find anything. No scent, no clues, nothing.

He ran along the road for miles until he hit the next town, but there was nothing. No weird sounds or smells. So he turned around and ran back, listening the whole time. He ran on all fours as it was quicker that way. He had never been as wolfed out as he was now. His face and hands were covered in fur and his nose had shifted to resemble more like a wolf's nuzzle. His eyes were a dangerous bright orange, so close to red. He growled at anything that came near him and squirrels, foxes and rabbits went running from him. He didn't chase them through, but continued to Beacon Hills.

Panic was running through him; panic and despair and desperation.

He was ready to tear out throats in order to get Derek back.

Stiles howled; a command to anyone who heard it. He had near given a command through a signal sound before but he knew it had worked as he heard three answering howls.

He continued towards Beacon Hills and to the vets where the betas were waiting for him. Stiles could smell blood but Erica was sleeping peacefully, Boyd looking over her.

Stiles looked around at his betas and could tell from their down-chested looks that they had as much luck finding Derek as he had.

"There was no scent," Scott told him, "It's like he just disappeared."

"He can't have just disappeared," Stiles said, his fists clutched tight.

He thought of the hunters and the night he had meet them in the woods, the gun pointed at Derek. Their cruel laughs and their taunting, calling him a freak.

Stiles growled and then punched the nearest wall to him.

"Stiles!" He heard Scott yell but Stiles kept going, shoving chairs aside and tearing a chunk from the reception's desk. He was angry and scared. He didn't know what he would do if anything happened to Derek.

"Stiles!" A more demanding voice shouted over his growls. Stiles looked up, his claws out and his eyes orange. Deaton was standing by the desk, calm as always.

"Have you finished destroying my veterinary yet?" He asked. Stiles looked around at the torn chairs and the damaged wood. Scott, Isaac and even Jackson looked terrified. The only person who looked un-phased was Lydia, who was sitting in a corner on her laptop, typing away.

"I'm sorry Deaton," Stiles mumbled, slightly in shock of his actions, "I'll fix everything, I promise."

"That doesn't matter now," Deaton told him as Scott went over to Stiles to wrap an arm around his shoulders. Stiles allowed himself to be lead to a seat and sat down, Scott beside him.

"We will find him," Scott told him, his tone sure and strong.

Deaton knelt down in front of him and locked eyes with Stiles. He had never seen such calm and wise eyes.

"Do you believe that you and Derek are mates?" The vet asked. Stiles frowned, not sure where the man was going with this.

"I...not...I don't know," Stiles replied, shaking his head.

"If you are mates, then you can find him," Deaton told him, "You just need to believe."

"Everything is believing with you," Stiles mumbled, deflating. He couldn't just believe and Derek turn up.

"Anything can be achieved if you just believe it will," the mystery man told him. He sounded so sure, it was hard not to believe him.

"Well, I don't know if this is from believing, but I managed to find some information on the hunters," Lydia said from her laptop. Everyone looked at her for a moment before Stiles jumped out and rushed to her side.

On her screen was several video footage of roads, all paused at the moment.

"You hacked into the town's CCTV?" Stiles asked, amazed.

"Please," Lydia said, her perfect eyebrows raised, "they set harder homework in school."

She clicked on one of the videos and a land rover went past the screen, driving too fast. It was covered in mud but the number plate was clearly showing.

"Rewind it slightly," Stiles told her. She obeyed and paused it so that Stiles would see the faces in the front seat.

"That's them," Stiles whispered before turning and kissing Lydia's cheek, "That's them!"

He then got up and beckoned Scott over.

"We're going to the Police station," he told him, "the rest of you stay here until we come back, call if there is any trouble."

They all nodded and Stiles and Scott left, taking Jackson's car which was parked outside.

Scott insisted on driving as Stiles was all shook up. Stiles sat there, fidgeting in his seat. He felt slightly better than he did before. Less anger and more determination. He didn't know if the whole believing thing would work but he would definitely use the technology at his disposal to find Derek.

"Deaton's right, you know," Scott told him.

"About what?" Stiles asked, wishing he would go faster.

"If you just accept that Derek is your mates then we could find him quicker," Scott told him.

"He's not my mate," Stiles sighed, rubbing his temple.

"Yes he is," Scott insisted, "I understand that he hurt you but you still love him."

"I never loved him," Stiles mumbled.

"We both heard that lie," Scott grinned at him, "You have loved him for a long time, and you know you have."

Stiles was quiet for a moment before he sighed, looking out of the window and the passing houses.

"Even if I do, I don't know how to forgive him," Stiles told him, "Or trust him."

"You're so desperate to find him, you wouldn't feel this way if you hadn't forgiven him."

"If I forgive him then I am giving in and there won't be any more human left in me," Stiles told him, "Its' my human side that is angry at him."

"And it's your human side that will forgive him," Scott told him, his voice soft.

Stiles looked at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes.

"You are the most forgiving person I know, you have forgiven me for countless things, and you know who you get that from?" Scott asked and continued before Stiles could answer, "Your Dad, who has forgiven both of us for doing crazy stuff, and your Mum."

Stiles' hear missed a beat at the mention of his mum. He looked at Scott, who kept his eyes on the road as he continued talking.

"I remember the first time I came round your house and we were running around the house when I knocked over a vase."

Stiles remembered that vase. It had been his Grandmother's. Scott had cried for ages, sure he could no longer be Stiles' friend.

"I thought your Mum was going to shout at me but instead she dried my eyes and gave me a cookie and told me it was fine."

Stiles nodded, remembering.

"You got your forgiveness skills from your parents and they are your human side, so if you forgive Derek, it will be the most human thing you do."

Wow, Stiles thought, that was the smartest thing that Scott had ever said.

All this time he had thought that if he had forgiven Derek then he would lose the human part of him, losing the last bit of his Mum in him, but by holding in all this hate he had been shutting off his Mum.

"You're right," Stiles told him, and he could smell the pride in Scott.

They finally pulled up outside the Police station. Stiles jumped out and then hesitated at the door.

"What's wrong?" Scott asked beside him, smelling his sudden unease.

"Last time I was here I had a panic attack and Derek calmed me down," Stiles told him. He knew that Derek wouldn't be able to save him this time. He took a deep breath and stepped through the door. He could still smell blood and the place had always snuck of gun powder but Stiles stayed calm. He had a job to do.

"Stiles, Scott," the Sheriff frowned as the two teenagers came into his office. It was past midnight and they were still in their lacrosse uniform and covered in mud. Scott even had a stick in his hair.

"Could you run a licence plate for me?" Stiles asked, handing his Dad a piece of paper with the registration on it. Sheriff took it, looking suspicious.

"I will if you tell me what is going on."

Scott sat down on one of the chairs while Stiles paced the floor.

"Hunters took Derek," Stiles told his Dad, "this is their car; hopefully it will tell us where they are."

"You're going after them?" The Sheriff asked.

"Yeah, of course," Stiles answered, "We need him back."

The Sheriff looked at him for a moment before squeezing his shoulder briefly and then loading up the database on his computer.

It took a couple of minutes to load up the results. In those moments Stiles continued to pace the floor and wring his hands together. He thought of Derek, with his hazel and green eyes, and his soft hair and the smile that he only had for Stiles. Stiles imagined not seeing that smile again and he let out a soft whimper that only Scott heard.

"There isn't a lot of information here," the Sheriff told them, as they looked over his shoulder, "the address seems to change every few months but at the moment it belongs to a Jared Smith."

He scrolled through the information, stopping at offences.

"Here's something," he said, "the car was speeding in the town over earlier tonight, a camera caught them along the forest road."

The forest spread out along three towns, for miles and miles and the forest road stretched out through it all, connecting the three towns.

"That doesn't help much," Stiles sighed.

"What's the current address?" Scott asked. A few clicks later and the Sheriff was saying.

"It's a cabin in the woods," he frowned, "it's a strange address to have on a car."

"Maybe they're not as smart as they seem," Scott said.

"Or it's a trick," Stiles mumbled, biting his thumb nail. They knew Derek which meant they probably had been watching Stiles. If that was the case then they would know that Stiles' Dad was the Sheriff and therefore would have access to this information.

"Come on," Stiles said, grabbing Scott's arm.

"You can't go," the Sheriff told him, worry in his tone.

"I have to," Stiles told him.

"But you just said yourself it could be a trick," the Sheriff argued.

"We have five werewolves with sharp claws and razor teeth, we'll be fine," Stiles tried to reassure him.

"I can't just let you go out there," the Sheriff nearly yelled.

"I have to get Derek back," Stiles told him, tears in his eyes. The Sheriff looked at him for moment, his eyes softening.

"Ok, but I'm coming with you," he told his son.

* * *

"I smell him," Stiles whispered to Scott, the wolf in him screaming for them to just hurry up and go get Derek.

They were hidden behind some bushes, staring at the worn cabin, the dirty land rover in front of it. There was Stiles, Scott, Isaac and Jackson. Boyd was still looking after Erica and Lydia was sitting in a car a mile away, with a very disgruntled Sheriff. Stiles had forced him to stay there, with the promise of calling him as soon as possible and permission to rush in if they didn't contact him in ten minutes.

"I can only smell two humans," Jackson whispered, frowning.

"This has to be a trap," Isaac told Stiles.

"Or they could just be really dumb," Stiles whispered back.

He could only smell two as well; whatever disguise they had been using worn off. It seemed too easy.

It could all be coincidence though. They hadn't been seen in months. They could have no idea who Stiles was, just some stupid human kid who they had shot and could be dead for all they knew.

"It doesn't matter," Stiles told them, "We're going in and getting our Alpha back."

They all nodded and they were up and running towards the cabin, teeth bearing and claws out.

Stiles smashed open the door, shattering it into pieces. The two hunters were sitting around a table, going over a map, but they jumped as the wolves entered the room.

Derek was hanging in the middle of the room; his wrists tied by rope which was attached to a beam in the ceiling. There were wires attached to him which were hooked up to a machine that Stiles recognised when he had been in the Argent's basement. It had been hooked up to Erica and Boyd then.

Derek's skin was grey and sweaty and there were dark purple shadows under his eyes. His hair was limp over his face and there were gashes down his chest, oozing blood down his skin. His whole body was limp, his head bowed.

A roar erupted from Stiles when he saw Derek and he leapt at one of the hunters, knocking the gun from his hand and throwing him against the wall. The other hunter ran from the cabin.

"After him!" Stiles yelled and Jackson and Isaac chased after him while Stiles approached the other hunter.

"You're that kid!" The hunter exclaimed as Stiles slowly walked up to him, his eyes nearly red.

Stiles didn't say anything, but kept on moving towards the hunter, his nostrils flaring as all he smelt was Derek's blood, burnt hair and sweat.

"Look what they did to you," the hunter spat at him, putting on a false bravo but his eyes screamed a different picture, "They turned you into a freak."

Stiles grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him up, his claws digging into the fabric of the jacket.

"Stiles," Scott said, behind him, his voice full of worry.

Stiles didn't hear him though as he glared at the hunter. Fury was filling him. Every vein, every muscle, every part of him was pulsing white hot anger.

All he could smell was Derek's pain. All he could hear was Derek's pain; his breathing laboured, soft groans escaping his lips with every movement. Stiles wanted this hunter to hurt. This helpless hunter who was struggling his grip, with pleading eyes. Stiles wanted him to hurt for what he had done to Derek.

Stiles raised his hand, his claws long and sharp. The hunter looked at them with fear in his eyes.

"No, Stiles, stop," Scott yelled, trying to pull his arm back. Stiles growled, easily pulling his arm back.

He raised his arm above the hunter's head, growling deep in his throat. The hunter closed his eyes, terrified.

"Stiles," a voice mumbled behind him. Stiles froze and looked towards Derek, who was looking up at him with pained eyes.

"We're not monsters," Derek told him.

Stiles gasped, realising what he was about to do. He let go off the hunter, who fell to the floor. Scott rushed to him to keep him from running away as Stiles rushed to Derek.

"Careful," Derek told him but Stiles pulled away the wires without blinking an eyelid. He wrapped an arm around Derek's waist and then cut through the ropes around Derek's wrists in one quick swap. Derek fell against him but Stiles caught him and lowered him to the ground.

"Oh God, oh God!" Stiles said quickly as he looked Derek over for injuries. The gashes on his torso were healing slowly and he had bruises around his wrists, but Stiles could smell his pain.

"Oh God, Derek I'm so sorry," Stiles cried, running his hands down Derek's chest to try and fix him somehow.

"I'm ok, Stiles," Derek smiled, catching Stiles' hands and holding them tight.

"I'm going to get you home," Stiles told him, "I'll make sure you're ok."

"I know," Derek mumbled, his eyes dropping shut. He smelt happy.

"Scott, call Lydia and tell her to bring the cars around," Stiles ordered as Jackson and Isaac dragged the other hunter back through the door.

Derek was now unconscious but Stiles could smell he was not in danger. Despite that, Stiles held him close.


	9. Chapter 9

Stiles woke up to Derek staring at him with his hazel eyes. They were in Derek's little nest, lying side by side. Stiles was lying on his side, his arm wrapped around Derek's waist, holding him tightly. Stiles had brought him back to the den after his Dad had arrested the hunters.

Erica was back at her house with Boyd, and Isaac had slept round Scott's house. They had all agreed that Derek and Stiles needed some time alone.

So Stiles had brought Derek back and had watched over him until Stiles had finally fallen asleep.

"I had missed this," Derek mumbled as Stiles looked at him.

"Missed what?" Stiles asked.

"Waking up beside you," Derek answered, reaching up and stroking Stiles' cheek. Stiles closed his eyes and bit his lip. It felt nice to be this close to him. Amazing really. Everything smelt of Derek.

"I'm really sorry," Stiles cried, tears wailing in his eyes, escaping through his closed eyelids.

"What for?" Derek asked softly, catching the tears with his thumb.

"I ruined everything because I was so God damn stubborn," Stiles told him, curling his body into a ball so that Derek couldn't see his face.

"I've wasted so much time," Stiles cried, thick tears falling from his eyes.

"No," Derek told him, his voice smoothing as he ran a hand down Stiles' arm, "You needed this time to heal, to decide what you wanted."

"No, I shouldn't have been so hot headed and stupid," Stiles sobbed, "I know it was an accident, right from the start but I was angry."

"I hurt you Stiles," Derek told him, his voice breaking as he said it. It shocked Stiles enough for him to look up at the alpha. Derek had tears in his eyes, making the green shine and glisten. He took Stiles' hand, lacing their hands together.

"I hurt you and that is killing me slowly every day," Derek told him, bring their hands up to his lips, kissing Stiles' knuckles, "It is all I think about, how I ruined that perfect moment and how we can never have that moment again and how you will hate me for the rest of your life."

"No," Stiles told him as a tear rolled down Derek's cheek. Stiles wiped it away, his hands shaking as he stroked along Derek's cheek and to his stubbled jaw line. Derek's breath hitched and his heartbeat picked up. He smelt desperate and sad. Really sad, like it was seared onto his heart.

"I can't hate you," Stiles told him, "I could never hate you because you're my mate."

They both stopped breathing then. Just for a split second before their lips were pressed together and they were a mess of limbs and tears. Derek had always seemed so in control when they were kissing but now he was clumsy and desperate and it was the most open he had ever been with Stiles. They clung to each other; Derek cupping Stiles' face, wiping tears away as they kept on falling. Stiles ran one hand through Derek's hair and one head running down the Alpha's back.

"I'm so sorry," Stiles wept as Derek held his face in his hands.

"Stop," Derek begged, "You should be mad at me."

"No, no," Stiles told him and then looked up at his green eyes, a watery smile on his lips, "You're my mate Derek."

Derek laughed and it was a wonderful sound. He pulled Stiles against him and held him tightly. Stiles relaxed completely against him, his head on Derek's chest. Stiles listened to the steady beating of Derek's heart, counting each beat.

Stiles was tired as he leant against Derek, who smelt happy and content. Stiles was happy too. He had finally accepted that Derek was his mate and the wolf inside of him was calm for the first time ever. He smiled and closed his eyes, his nose nuzzling against Derek's warm chest.

They stayed like that for a very long time, curled up in Derek's nest, warm and safe.

Stiles was just dozing off when Derek said,

"You should go home."

And with that all of Stiles' happiness went. His wolf started whimpering and he sat up, feeling defeated. He didn't even want to argue with the rejection; he was too tired and use to being hurt. Derek must have smelt his depression because he reached forward and grabbed Stiles' wrist.

"I didn't mean it like that," he said, almost begging Stiles to understand.

"Its fine," Stiles mumbled, the sleepless night and the terror of the night before making him exhausted and sensitive.

"No, Stiles, listen to me," Derek told him, pulling Stiles back against him. Stiles was not quite awake as Derek kissed his temple and continued to talk.

"I want us to start over."

"Why? I thought we were fine now," Stiles mumbled, looking at Derek's chest which was now healed.

"We are but we can't just go back to where we were because that is where all the hurt and hate began," Derek explained, "the way we started off was all wrong as well, you deserve better than a few meaningless kisses and desperate get-togethers," he said this as he stroked Stiles' back gently.

"What are you saying?" Stiles asked, not looking at Derek.

"I'm saying that you should go home and get some sleep, and, if you want, I'll pick you up at seven tonight and we will go for our first date."

Stiles laughed, short but happy. He looked up at Derek and shook his head.

"You don't have to do that."

"Of course I do," Derek replied, "I want you to experience everything a normal teenager should experience, including first dates and cheesy theatre dates and going to restaurants and most of all I want to experience it all with you."

"So what will it be tonight?" Stiles asked, a sleepy, happy smile on his face, "A cheesy theatre date or an uncomfortable dinner date or something else?"

"I haven't decided yet," Derek confessed, looking sheepish.

"OK," Stiles smiled, slowly standing up, his limbs feeling like lead, "But you will have to take me home because I'll probably fall asleep behind the wheel."

Derek chuckled and got up, stroking a hand down Stiles' arm as he stood.

The drove home was quiet but comfortable. Stiles dozed on the passenger sweat and Derek placed his hand on Stiles' leg, stroking his thumb in circles.

When they arrived at Stiles' house, Stiles woke and stretched his stiff muscles.

Derek caught him unaware by stealing a kiss. It was quick and sweet and left Stiles with a dopey smile. Derek chuckled, his eyes soft.

"Go get some sleep."

Stiles nodded and obeyed slowly. He didn't want to leave Derek but his bed was calling him.

"Seven, yeah?" Stiles asked as he stepped out of the car.

"Seven," Derek smiled. Stiles nodded and then tore himself away from Derek and finally answered his bed's voice.

* * *

It took Stiles an hour to decide what to wear. He didn't know where they were going so he wasn't sure what to wear. Casual, semi-formal or full blown suit and tie? He groaned, feeling embarrassed about how conscious he felt about this. He and Derek had been...together, is that the right word? Well, whatever it was, they had known each other for ages and had been through so much and had seen each other at the worst, and now Stiles was worried about what he was going to wear in front of him.

In the end he decided to wear a blue buttoned shirt with dark jeans and smart back shoes. He was putting on his black blazer when he heard Derek's car pull up outside. Stiles quickly checked his hair before running down the stairs. By the door, Derek was talking to his Dad, and handing him a box.

"What's that?" Stiles asked, coming up to them.

"Wolf bane bullets," Derek answered.

"What?!" Stiles asked, looking up at him. Derek was dressed in a white pin striped shirt with a dark red tie. He had black trousers on and dark shoes. He looked very handsome.

"I want your Dad to be able to keep his promise of shooting me if I ever hurt you again," Derek told him.

"Are you planning on hurting my son again?" The Sheriff asked, his eyebrows raised.

"No, I will try everything in my power to make sure Stiles never gets hurt again," Derek promised and Stiles chuckled at the satisfied look on his Dad's face.

"Well, have fun tonight," he said and Stiles gave him a quick hug before walking out the house.

"So..." he said as Derek smiled at him, "where are we going?"

"Il Carafino's," Derek told him as they walked towards Derek's car.

"Wow, posh," Stiles said, feeling self-conscious again, "Should I go put on a tie or something?"

"No," Derek laughed and then tagged off his own tie and unbuttoned his top button. He looked hot. Stiles just wanted to run his hand across Derek's jaw line and kiss along his neck. Stiles shook his head as Derek opened the car door for Stiles to get in. The teenager smiled at him and got in. Derek got in the other side and looked at Stiles.

"You ready?"

Stiles nodded and smiled as Derek took his hand and rested their entangled hands on Stiles' lap as they drove off. Stiles could smell that Derek was nervous and this made him very amused. It made all of Stiles' nerves disappear as he watched the Alpha blush.

"What?" Derek asked, sensing Stiles' eyes on him.

"You look very handsome tonight," Stiles told him and Derek smiled, squeezing his hand. There was a soft twinkle in his eyes as he briefly looked at Stiles.

"As do you," Derek told him seriously. Stiles chuckled softly.

There was a comfortable silence as they approached the restaurant, as both of them just absorbed the feeling of being together again. It felt amazing and the wolf inside of Stiles was calm and content. He just wanted to cuddle up to Derek and pretend that the last couple of months didn't happen because nothing was worth losing his mate over. He knew that now. He knew that Derek was his mate and what he did was just instinct. It hadn't been his fault. Stiles had known that for ages but he hadn't wanted to admit it. He wanted to cling to a part of him that didn't even exist. Scott had been right; his mum would have forgiven Derek, so by not forgiving him, Stiles had been pushing his mother away by being angry but now he could feel her smiling down in him again.

They stopped at the restaurant and Derek went out of his way to be all gentlemanly; opening the car door for him and pushing his chair in and paying for the dinner, despite Stiles' protests. It felt weird but wonderful. It was Stiles' first date and it went great. Derek's eyes shone the whole night, obviously happy. Stiles had never seen him that happy before. It was like a massive weight had been lifted from Derek's shoulders and Stiles felt bad for putting that weight there in the first place.

It was dark when they left the restaurant and the stars were shining brightly. The moon was only half out and it looked beautiful in that form; posing no threat to them. When they got back to Stiles' house, they sat on the pouch for a little while. Stiles' dad was at work so it was quiet in the house.

"Thanks for tonight," Stiles smiled as they sat side by side on the pouch sofa. No one really sat out here anymore, but this used to be Stiles' mum favourite spot. It made Stiles feel comfortable and safe as he leant against Derek.

"I want to give you something," Derek told him, sounding serious.

"You're already brought dinner," Stiles sighed, "I buy the next one by the way, there is no way I'm ending up as the girl in this relationship."

"I owe you a million dinners," Derek smiled, before taking something out of his pocket and giving it to Stiles. It was a pocket watch. A silver one with a wolf engraved on the case and a long chain. It looked old and worn, but the loved worn, not the uncared for worn.

"It was my Grandfather's," Derek explained, "It was the only thing that survived the fire."

"I can't have this," Stiles whispered, running a thumb over the wolf and smelling the sadness that had come with those words.

"I want you to have it," Derek told him, holding Stiles' hands and closing his hands around the watch, "my grandmother gave it to my grandfather and I want to give it to you; you're my mate, my family."

Derek cupped Stiles' cheek and lifted his face gently so they were looking at each other. Derek had a serious look on his face and Stiles frowned.

"I am giving it to you with a promise," Derek told him, "I promise that I will never hurt you again and I will spend the rest of my life trying to be the person you deserve to be with."

Stiles blushed and shook his head.

"You don't need to do that."

"No, I do," Derek urged, "You deserve so much better than I have ever given you."

"So do you," Stiles told him and then leant forward and wrapped his arms around Derek's shoulders and buried his nose into Derek's neck.

"You worry so much about me, but you forget that you deserve love as well," Stiles told him, "You deserve love and happiness and forgiveness, and you haven't had these things in so long that you have forgotten that."

Derek bite his lip and wrapped his arms around Stiles, hugging him tightly, rubbing a thumb on the back of his neck.

"I have found all of these things with you," Derek mumbled. Stiles laughed and pulled away, catching Derek's lips as he did so. It was a soft and slow and if Stiles shed a tear, well, no one said anything.

"I don't want us to be apart again," Stiles whispered, his forehead against Derek's.

"Don't worry," Derek smiled, kissing his temple, "I'm never leaving you again."

* * *

"How much paint did you need?" Stiles groaned as he lugged in the tenth pot into the new flat. They weren't heavy, with Stiles' new strength. He just liked to complain.

"It all needs to be painted," Derek told him, coming in behind him with a step ladder and a bagful of brushes. The rest of the pack was doted around the flat, setting up paint trays and rolling out sheets of white fabric. Stiles paused for a moment and looked around the flat. Derek had brought it recently, fed up of always sleeping in a rundown train. It was small, with only two bedrooms and an open kitchen and living room, but it was warm and bright with the windows open to let fresh air in. Scott and Isaac was already rolling blue paint onto the living room walls, flickering each other as they did so. Jackson was moving the fridge into the kitchen with the help of Boyd, and with Lydia telling them where it should go, and Erica was making sure that the whole floor was covered. Stiles watched them for a moment, feeling a sense of pride.

"Stop slacking," Derek told him, smirking at him. Stiles shook his head and stuck his tongue out at the alpha. Derek winked and put the bags down. They got started on the painting.

The pack worked together all day to get the flat decorated. The smell of paint made Stiles' nose sting but he didn't care. He felt happy that the pack was together and that they were fixing up the flat so they could have somewhere legal to hang out.

Night fall and Derek made a pizza run. They all sat on the floor together in a circle and chatted freely.

"How did you get that covered in paint, Isaac?" Lydia laughed as Isaac tried to remove some from his blue covered hands.

"It was Scott!" Isaac moaned, giving up and throwing his hands up in the air.

"Don't blame me because you don't know how to paint," Scott told him. Isaac pushed at his face and left a blue hand print on his cheek. Everyone laughed and Scott wiped at his face, just smearing it more.

Stiles chucked, leaning against Derek and eating the pizza. Everyone smelt happy. Everything felt fine.

He and Derek had got so much closer since they had got back together. Closer than they had ever been before. They went on a date at least once a week and they hanged out nearly every day. Stiles' dad insisted that Derek came over for dinner every Sunday and they ate like a family. Stiles and Derek texted each other every night and Stiles had even got Derek some flowers. Every other Friday they went to the grave yard and de-weeded their families' graves. They spent nights lying next to each other in the forest just talking.

And now, Stiles was leaning against Derek, his head against Derek's cheek. They were watching their pups tuck into the pizza and joke around. There was a sense of excitement in the air that came with the new flat and everyone being together. Stiles sighed, relaxing.

"Are you ok?" Derek mumbled, his lips against his skin.

"Yeah," Stiles smiled, putting his hand on Derek's leg and squeezing it slightly. He felt a smile on his skin.

A couple of hours later and Derek and Stiles was lying in one of the bedrooms on a mattress. Everyone else had left and they were left on their own.

"What do you think of the flat?" Derek asked, running a hand down Stiles' arm. His hand found its way to the bottom of Stiles' t-shirt and underneath. Stiles squirmed slightly as Derek's hand ran over his stomach, tickling him slightly.

"I love it," Stiles smiled, "It is going to look so good once it is done."

Derek smiled, small and sly, as he leant down and kissed Stiles, which was just as slow. Stiles was lying on his back, and his hand went up to run his hand through Derek's soft hair. He pulled down so Derek's body was against his.

They hadn't had sex since the incident in the woods during Stiles' first full moon. As Derek had promised, they had started over and taken things slow, but Stiles felt ready. So he pulled at Derek's t-shirt, pulling off him, breaking their kiss for only a second.

"Wait," Derek said, putting a hand on his chest and leaning up slightly, looking away and biting his lip.

"What's wrong?" Stiles asked, leaning up and resting his cheek against Derek's arm. Stiles could smell sadness coming from Derek.

"I'm…scared," Derek mumbled, sounding ashamed. Stiles smiled, kissing his skin and leaning up even further. He trailed kisses along Derek's skin until he reached his lips. He paused, looking Derek in the eye and sounding as serious as possible.

"I'm not," he told Derek. Derek looked back at him for a moment, as if checking that Stiles wasn't lying. He nodded before leaning forward and capturing Stiles' lips. It was desperate but loving. Stiles smiled and wrapped his arms around Derek's neck, before pulling him down onto the mattress. Stiles pulled his shirt off and he heard Derek give a low growl at it.

However, Derek still seemed hesitate. So Stiles used his strength to throw Derek to the other side of the bed and straddled him. Derek looked shocked and he growled again as Stiles pressed down and kissed him along his neck. He just wanted to be close to Derek. To feel every inch of him. To feel Derek inside him.

Derek ran his hands down Stile's body, running fingers through his hair. It felt good and right and Stiles just wanted more. He reached down and undid Derek's trousers, and Derek did the same with clumsy fingers. Stiles chuckled, feeling light and free as Derek moved to pull them off. They were soon naked, their bodies completely touching.

Stiles stopped and looking down at Derek, who was fingers were still curled in his hair. Stiles stroked along his chin, liking the rough stubble.

"Are you sure about this?" Derek asked, stroking his hair.

"I've never been more sure about anything," Stiles mumbled, a smile playing on his lip. Derek smiled up at him and then they kissed, slow and sure.

Stiles ran his hand down Derek's body until he was touching Derek's hand length. He slowly wrapped his hand around Derek and moved his hand up and down, feeling Derek moan under him. Derek's hand found Stile's member and they were soon moving with each other. Shivers of pleasure went through Stiles as he crushed his lips with Derek's.

"Derek," Stiles moaned, and Derek took the hint and moved his hand along Stile's back to his entrance. Stiles sighed as Derek pushed against it. Stiles bit Derek's lip as he pushed past the entrance and into Stiles.

"I've…got…lube in my bag," Stiles panted, his whole body feeling alive with electricity. The bag wasn't too far from the bed so Derek was able to reach over and grab the small bottle of lube.

"More," Stiles moaned, pushing down onto Derek's finger. Derek groaned, the smell of arousal pulsing from him. He ran the lube over his fingers and then pressed another into Stiles. Stiles' hips were burking on their own, as he bit down into Derek's shoulder, his hands still working on Derek's length.

"Derek," Stiles moaned, his hips rubbed against Derek's, "Derek, please."

Derek didn't say a word as he removed his fingers and got the lube. He poured it onto his member, Stiles covering it for him. Stiles then sat up and positioned himself above Derek. They locked eyes, as Derek guided Stiles down onto him. Stiles' eyes closed as Derek entered him, a groan escaping his mouth. He could feel Derek shaking beneath him and Stiles leant down and kissed him.

"I trust you," Stiles whispered and then Derek started to move. Slow at first but it picked up as they kissed. It felt wonderful and Stiles' wolf was howling in pleasure; the noises Stiles was making was almost similar. They clutched at each other, their hands everywhere. Stiles' couldn't think. All he could feel was Derek and mate. Mate.

The release was quick and sudden and Stiles arched up, moaning as he came all over Derek's chest. Derek came a second later, his eyes flying open to reveal red orbs. They were gentle though as he looked at Stiles.

"Your eyes," Derek said, frowning. He sat up as Stiles asked;

"What?"

"They're red," Derek answered, stroking a thumb under his eye. Stiles turned around and looked into the mirror that was leant against the wall. His eyes were no longer orange, but a deep red, exactly like Derek's.

"You're an alpha now," Derek mumbled against his ear, a smile on his face.

"Yeah," Stiles whispered, feeling a bit speechless. His eyes faded back to brown and he looked back at Derek.

"Does that mean we are wolf married?" Stiles asked. Derek laughed, rubbing his nose against Stile's cheek.

"Pretty much."

Stiles smiled, big and wide and goofy.

"Good," he said, before capturing another kiss.

**Yeah finished. Please review if you liked it. **


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